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Spunky salmon return to life to gas us all

As the BOFH battles the architects

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Curious people are being warned not to visit the site of a suspected meteorite strike in the Peruvian Andes after 600 people suffered "headaches, vomiting and nausea". The unidentified no-longer-flying object began to emit "fetid, noxious gases", which are thought to have been the cause of these adverse symptoms. You speculated on the true identity of the meteorite:

A "meteor" strike, a pit and a noxious gas felling animals and people - just wait until that "meteor" unscrews and the tripod death machines and heat ray come into action...

Jon Tocker


Now we know what happened to that nuclear powered refrigerator they chucked out of the space station a couple months ago.

Michael Golden


"just wait until that "meteor" unscrews and the tripod death machines and heat ray come into action..."

Or perhaps the Peruvian authorities will find that this meteorite is filled with dessicated Martian insects, at which point the people of Peru will break into two factions - one psychic, the other not - and there will be a catastrophe that can only be solved with a big crane.

Ashley Pomeroy


..."Yuri, how many times do I have to tell you goddamit....DON'T flush the Space Station toilet unless you can see the sea beneath us!" .....remember the memory aid?....No See Sea, no Pee Pee...

Anon


The architects have arrived at Mission Control and the BOFH and PFY have been blindsided by management over cable installation in an office renovation. Cue many rants from BOFHs and proto-BOFHs among you who've had similar problems:

Talking of office moves... The most recent brainwave of my management is that the customer service, scheduling and technical functions all need to be separated to operate together more efficiently!

My Customer Service team is moving to Milton Keynes, UK and my Scheduling function is moving to another building!!

I, personally,, think that management should NOT be given direct/indirect access to planning materials as a matter of course, 'cos as soon as they get involved in an office movement, EVERYTHING WILL turn to custard!

On a personal note, I am looking to get out of here anyway, but it's going to be fun watching the operation go through it's death-throws whilst I am here!

Looks like my management actually DO care about there staff - They cared enough to move them to nice surrounding (at a cost to the business in man-power, support, and logistics, of course!!!)

Michael Born


This is what my working life is like almost every day. No matter how many times I tell the Property Services people to get me involved when they first think about these projects I still get a call when they're ready to start shlapping paint on the walls.

Anon


We had a renovation here recently, and all talk of floorboxes was shitcanned in favour of having cables run through grommets in the raised flooring to (I'm not quite sure I can say this without weeping) hoeizontally mounted surface mount boxes screwed into the underlying concrete. Because it looked nicer. It doesn't, actually, it looks like shit and is a pigging nightmare to work with. That's before I get onto the cabling modules that are bolted to the desks and equipped with the crappiest, cheapest Cat5 and 25mm fuses that the fitting company selected by our architects could get hold of.

Anon


As for the office moves, it's plainly the responsibility of senior management to avoid every single opportunity to involve ICT staff until the management, sparkies and architects have finished making arbitrary decisions about where people are going to work and where the structured cabling should go.

I mean, God forbid that someone put a floor point somewhere logical and / or sensible. For example; actually NEAR a workstation - someone might run over it with their wheelie chair, and break something (hopefully the CEO and his neck as he rattles down the stairwell, negotiating several tight turns while duct-taped to his chair. That's the kind of pleasant thought that keeps you warm at night.)

Andrew Macrobie


Here's how bad it can get.. I USED to work for a private school, you know, the sort where the teachers are supposed to be a cut above the rest etc.. chunks of money to throw about etc...

They decided that as part of one of their 'Facelifts' of the site (A pretty, Big glass Atrium - that I've since heard leaks like a seive) that as there were more computers on the other side of the road, they.d move the server room over there.

Nice idea (Hah) The first thing that happenned (and this was just the groundwork) is that they managed to sever the fibre connection to the English Block, which they weren't even supposed to be anywhere near!

Next. Area set aside for IT on top floor of new 'Atrium' building - quite generous, space from that taken by 'Director of IT's office - Most of it - leaving the server room smaller than it currently was and with the only access through her office!

Finally (in her words) "The architects know what they are doing!" (This was when we questionned why there was only two cables running to the new server room, both 20 pair phone cables - No cat5, No Fibre)

... and some people wonder why I got out of there as quick as I could?

Anon

I wish that sort of thing happened around here. It'd give us a fine excuse to push off to the pub. Ah, who needs an excuse anyway? Now seems like as good a time as any. Cheers all. Have a good weekend. ®

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