Tech gets steamier with mp3 vibrators and strap-on kit
And idiots break themselves against martial artists
Bored with your current play list? Wishing your iPod was more phallic in form and perhaps vibrated a bit as well? Well, look no further than Bergen the German Mountain Man (who loves your thighs) and the Talking Head mp3 vibrator. Costing in at just $99.95 plus shipping, this will undoubtedly have you trembling and moaning along to your favourite tunes and Bergen's masculine tones. Order now!
Thigh-pod? Wonder if it sounds muffled?
Given the voice record and playback features, replace your worn out analogue tape machine with one. Whether or not your secretary returns it to you after transcribing your dictation remains to be seen
Hate to disappoint the Hackettes, but Bergen the German says, "Spread your Thighs, I love your thighs, I kiss your thighs...." In a voice which I can only describe as: The bloke on the Tax Office Helpline meets Johnny Bravo. If that turns women on, I must have missed something along the way. I'll ask the Girlfriend tonight for a second opinion but I hope she doesn't find it erotic, cos' I couldn't repeat it without laughing loudly, which tends to spoil the moment for all involved.
Sure for the (non- PC?) PC enthusiasts it's certainly a niche in the market though.
Now unfreeze me when they develop the fully interactive holodeck will yah, cus everything else before that is just mucking about.
If I remember correctly this is not the first MP3 Vibrator to be featured here. I expect The Register to be just as thorough as it is with all it's other IT gadget articles and post a review and comparison for all similar devices.
The categories should be wide ranging such as:
-Playback Quality/Audio Fidelity (both during use and just as a MP3 Player)
-High and low band frequency chart (like speaker EQ, does it vibrate more/stronger with bass or treble? Does it have a harmonic?)
-Software compatibility (both computer and, um... ergonomic)
-Hardware compatibility (does it work with an IPod?)
-Functional Quality (Is it good? Maybe a Time To Org [T.T.O.] benchmark)
Anyone else have ideas?
i see they come in pink. So who said 'Women say no to pink tech toys' then ?
Well, here at Vulture Central the female island is heavily fortified with pink desk lamps, computers, mobile handsets and tasers. Naturally however the rest of the office is a veritable bastion of masculinity, with dirty clothes hanging on every available prominence, powerful belches reverberating out across the deskscape and half-eaten sandwiches going untamed for weeks.
And now back to the incessant trench warfare (and chemical when the ladies use the dreaded air freshener). ®