Feeds

Blind Judo master floors tobacco stealing skinhead

Hairless, brainless and still ciggie-less

Remote control for virtualized desktops

A German skinhead got a far right going over this week when he tried to nick a pack of cigarettes from a blind man, who just happened be a world-class judo champion.

Michael Esser had just bought the pack of tabs, according to Ananova, when the 17 year old yob shouted “Hand them over Stevie”, thought to be a reference to Stevie “I just called to say I love you” Wonder.

The jobless tobacco fiend then pushed his luck too far, lunging for the ciggies and punching Esser in the face. This presumably gave Esser enough of a fix on the yob to allow him to grab the mugger's arm and wrap it behind his back, before kneeing him in the back of the knees.

Esser then spun the nicotine-deficient thug round before flinging him face first onto the ground, and pinning him down with his body. Which is pretty much what you’d expect from a third dan judoka and former world judo champion.

A passer-by called the police who subsequently prised the would-be mugger from under the serene but deadly Esser. Despite a bloody nose, Esser declined hospital treatment, declaring he was already late for a rendezvous with some chums to go and listen to a football match.

This woefully inept mugger is just the latest in a flurry of imbeciles who decide their best bet to make a quick buck is to attack a martial artist. Earlier this week, a Columbian robber’s attempt to rob a karate school came to a bone-crunchingly speedy end, and last year a Romanian burglar was brought to his knees by a granny who’d picked up her moves from a TV show.®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Designing and building an open ITOA architecture
Learn about a new IT data taxonomy defined by the four data sources of IT visibility: wire, machine, agent, and synthetic data sets.
10 threats to successful enterprise endpoint backup
10 threats to a successful backup including issues with BYOD, slow backups and ineffective security.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?