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Blind Judo master floors tobacco stealing skinhead

Hairless, brainless and still ciggie-less

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

A German skinhead got a far right going over this week when he tried to nick a pack of cigarettes from a blind man, who just happened be a world-class judo champion.

Michael Esser had just bought the pack of tabs, according to Ananova, when the 17 year old yob shouted “Hand them over Stevie”, thought to be a reference to Stevie “I just called to say I love you” Wonder.

The jobless tobacco fiend then pushed his luck too far, lunging for the ciggies and punching Esser in the face. This presumably gave Esser enough of a fix on the yob to allow him to grab the mugger's arm and wrap it behind his back, before kneeing him in the back of the knees.

Esser then spun the nicotine-deficient thug round before flinging him face first onto the ground, and pinning him down with his body. Which is pretty much what you’d expect from a third dan judoka and former world judo champion.

A passer-by called the police who subsequently prised the would-be mugger from under the serene but deadly Esser. Despite a bloody nose, Esser declined hospital treatment, declaring he was already late for a rendezvous with some chums to go and listen to a football match.

This woefully inept mugger is just the latest in a flurry of imbeciles who decide their best bet to make a quick buck is to attack a martial artist. Earlier this week, a Columbian robber’s attempt to rob a karate school came to a bone-crunchingly speedy end, and last year a Romanian burglar was brought to his knees by a granny who’d picked up her moves from a TV show.®

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