Feeds

Blind Judo master floors tobacco stealing skinhead

Hairless, brainless and still ciggie-less

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

A German skinhead got a far right going over this week when he tried to nick a pack of cigarettes from a blind man, who just happened be a world-class judo champion.

Michael Esser had just bought the pack of tabs, according to Ananova, when the 17 year old yob shouted “Hand them over Stevie”, thought to be a reference to Stevie “I just called to say I love you” Wonder.

The jobless tobacco fiend then pushed his luck too far, lunging for the ciggies and punching Esser in the face. This presumably gave Esser enough of a fix on the yob to allow him to grab the mugger's arm and wrap it behind his back, before kneeing him in the back of the knees.

Esser then spun the nicotine-deficient thug round before flinging him face first onto the ground, and pinning him down with his body. Which is pretty much what you’d expect from a third dan judoka and former world judo champion.

A passer-by called the police who subsequently prised the would-be mugger from under the serene but deadly Esser. Despite a bloody nose, Esser declined hospital treatment, declaring he was already late for a rendezvous with some chums to go and listen to a football match.

This woefully inept mugger is just the latest in a flurry of imbeciles who decide their best bet to make a quick buck is to attack a martial artist. Earlier this week, a Columbian robber’s attempt to rob a karate school came to a bone-crunchingly speedy end, and last year a Romanian burglar was brought to his knees by a granny who’d picked up her moves from a TV show.®

Eight steps to building an HP BladeSystem

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.