Feeds

Fancy an invisible dog that dances on stilts?

eBay can oblige, and then some

Top three mobile application threats

We're very much obliged to reader Euan Webster for alerting us to the possibility of being rendered completely invisible, while teaching our dog to walk and dance on stilts and while gaining "2 – 4 INCHES of intimate length" in the trouser department - and all for just $24.95:

Become invisible offer on Ebay

Yup, it's a once-in-a-lifetime offer down at eBay, and no messing.

For your 25 bucks, you get not only the The Secret of Invisibility, but also Secrets of Sexual Seduction! and The Wizard's Book of Animal Secrets. The three will variously allow you to "vanish & reappear as you wish, wherever you may be!", "meet women on streets, dance clubs, everywhere!" and, rather splendidly, "command your cat to use the bathroom toilet".

Not convinced? Well, what about "2 cures for male baldness that really work", insights into "the quiet world of frogs & toads" and the handy ability to bring dead creatures "BACK TO LIFE!"?

Terrific. A word of warning, though: these powers should be used for "Moral purposes ONLY!", so you can forget sending a resurrected, invisible and stilt-dancing dog to take clandestine snaps of a butt-naked Vanessa Hudgens for later dissemination on the internet. You have been warned. ®

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.