Feeds

US outfit whips out mp3 vibrator

64 megabytes of Ram - phwoooar!

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

NSFW Our female readers looking for an earth-moving experience are directed forthwith not to the San Andreas fault, but rather to the profoundly silly My Little Secret Talking Head mp3 vibrator - a "breakthrough in adult toys" that allows you to "download and listen to erotic audio fantasies or record your own for the ultimate in personalized pleasure".

The Talking Head mp2 vibratorGood heavens above. The Talking Head boasts: full-function silicone vibrator with interchangeable shafts; 64 megabytes of Ram with built-in USB port; built-in microphone for voice and sound recording; two pre-recorded audio fantasies; PC and Mac compatibility*; and headphones and USB cable.

Naturally, you're wondering just what "pre-recorded audio fantasies" involve. Look no further than the erotic audio playlist where Bergen the German Mountain Man deploys his doubtless well-filled lederhosen to scale hitherto unexplored climactic peaks.

Quite what Bergen is saying we know not ("Guten morgen fraulein, would you like to chew this fine fat bratwurst?" or thereabouts, we reckon), but he did provoke a certain amount of weakness at the knees among the Reg hackettes.

Well, we think it was Bergen's rugged tones that caused our sub Tracey to go and have a quick lie down in a darkened room, although it may have been the Talking Head's price tag - a cool $99.95 plus shipping. ®

Bootnote

*That's right - no open source support. Disappointing, but a recent survey by sexologists at the University of Banglaore revealed that 97 per cent of Linux Girlzzz can achieve orgasm simply by looking at a picture of Linus Torvalds while fondling their kernels - all without the assistance of Bergen the German.

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
Check your Clungene, Irish women warned
Have a quick shufti, you may not be pregnant after all
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.