Toddler flexibility at risk as rock stars and goats die young
Just stick 'em in the giant pyramid
A German consortium plans to build the world's largest pyramid to house the bodies of their customers. For just €700, you will be interred in the structure, which will be "as monumental as it is affordable". Many of you wondered just how many dead punters it would hold (presumably you didn't want to miss out on a spot). John Latham came to the rescue:
According to my (very rough) calculations, that thing will take about 10 million stiffs.
Very efficient use of land, but perhaps not of building materials.
And I would have though there might still be some sensitivity towards mass graves in that part of the world.
Being able to choose a design/picture for the stone that marks my final resting place is all well and good, but I think the question that really needs answering is; will I be able to select from a range of interesting booby-traps such as falling boulders, trapdoors over a pit full of snakes and the perennial favourite - a slowly descending ceiling of spikes?
And what about curses - probably a premium service, but definitely a must for the full entombed-for-eternity-in-a-giant-mausoleum experience.
Bloody typical - I go to the pyramids in the morning, and every last one, the Germans have got up early and put their towels on them already...
They tried to bury people in unmarked graves in the last war, now they're simply stacking them in a damn great pyramid.
If your parents get buried there, don't you think it'll be a bit Oedipal being buried on top of (your) Mummy?
€700 for putting another block of stone on? Definitely a pyramid scheme!
This is all very nice, but unless it's a graveyard jenga or kerplunk I'm not interested.
Troubled by an electrical fault in one of their Boeing 757s, Nepal airlines sacrificed two goats to the Hindu sky god Akash Bhairab. The wayward plane immediately behaved, firmly demonstrating the power of a quick caprine offering. Despite this compelling evidence, you were somewhat doubtful:
Surely another revenue stream for Ryanair; tick here for Goat Sacrifice; £3 or £5 if you pay at the airport.
I can only imagine a new service contract scheme for Nepal airways on a pay per sacrifice basis , they could even call it 'Pay as you Goat'
I wonder what was on the in-flight catering list that day?!!
Cream of goat soup, chèvre à l'orange and baked Alaska - with added goat spleen.
I knew my method of computer fixes would catch on.. I've sacrificed a number of chickens at a users desk while working in desktop support. Worked a treat and they've never asked for their computer to be fixed again. ;-).
I hope theyve got an emergancy goat on board for when the wings fall off cos they didnt actually repair them.