Toddler flexibility at risk as rock stars and goats die young
Just stick 'em in the giant pyramid
Breaking research indicates that rock stars have a tendency to die earlier than the rest of us, and that this may be down to excessive lifestyles and drug abuse. Researchers at Liverpool John Moores University detailed these staggering revelations in a study of more than a thousand US and European artists, and added that stars needed to "promote positive health messages" and lead by example. You were not too receptive to the study's suggestions:
"Stars could do more to actively promote positive health messages, but these need to be backed up by example."
Presumably the best example that Keith Richards, Mark E Smith, Shaun Ryder and Shane McGowan could set is to immediately die. As long as they continue to live people will believe that a diet of cigarettes, alcohol, pork chops, fast living, more alcohol, different types of alcohol, snorting your father's ashes etc is perfectly acceptable.
I dare you to do a Google image search for "Shaun Ryder", and select "large" images. Almost the first shot you get is a huge close-up picture of his teeth (he has had some dental work done). It is the most horrible picture I have seen. It is the most horrible thing I can comprehend. If it was any more horrible, it would paradoxically not be horrible at all, because it would overwhelm my ability to experience horror.
You'd think I'd have learned not to ignore such warnings...
This seems to be the same garbage argument I saw a few years ago, albeit then without the veneer of respectability, obtained by association with a university (of sorts).
It says the European rock stars die at an average of 35 years old. Of course they don't. The figure of 35 is obtained by averaging the ages of all the stars who died young, and probably only includes those who died while still famous. It omits the very many stars who haven't died yet (most 70s rock stars are only 50-65 now and even the 60s ones aren't too ancient) and probably omits those who have died aged 40- or 50-something, but had faded into obscurity by then.
I rather suspect that rock stars do, on average, die younger than people in many other walks of life, and it would be a good idea if today's young stars cut down on the excess, but this "study" doesn't prove it. Junk "science", used for political purposes, yet again.
The Rolling Stones' ages have nothing to do with it, as presumably. they are not dead yet, and so would not form part of the figures.
You also need to keep in mind that one quarter of them is a member of the undead, and will never die.
"professor Mark Bellis, commented: "Public health consideration needs to be given to preventing music icons promoting health-damaging behaviour among their emulators and fans. Stars could do more to actively promote positive health messages, but these need to be backed up by example.""
Piss off back to your ivory tower Mark. We don't want our rock stars to become as boring as university professors. Rock stars are supposed to be like Lemmy who still drinks JD in a pint glass.
Doesn't have to be a rock star, take almost anyone, give them a huge wedge of cash and fame and then sit back and watch what happens...
1) Fast cars... Splat
2) Drugs & Alcohol... Insert huge list here
Then of course, if you manage to survive the drugs and fast cars, you will of course have collected a throng of groupies*, who, being the famous person that you are, you'll bonk left right and centre... And invariably you'll catch something, and given the amount of bonking you've done, it'll probably be a really nasty fatal one.
The fact that Cliff Richard avoids all the above, and it still alive at 762 really proves it all. QED, where's my degree?
* Personally I believe the collective noun for groupies should be a thong.
Bah, they should do a study on the effects of alcoholism and general over-indulgence on the life expectancies of journalists if they really want a shock. Though they might have difficulty finding a control group. Where do you get a sufficient number of people who are journalists but don't give themselves over to hedonism and excess? We'll ponder that one at the bar. Good weekends, all. ®
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