Feeds

Irish firm seeks Trainee Assistant Banana Ripener

'A good knowledge of Excel' a must, naturally

Security for virtualized datacentres

The Irish readers among you pondering a radical change of career could do worse than consider this vacancy down at Dublin-based Global Fruit Co. Ltd, which is currently a bit short-handed in its banana-ripening department:

Trainee Assistant Banana Ripener

Global Fruit Co. Ltd is the sole authorised distributor for Del Monte fresh produce in Ireland and is currently seeking an individual to join us as Trainee / Assistant Banana Ripener. In this role you will be responsible for the ripening of bananas, stock control, customer continuity as well as the supervision of intake staff and forklift drivers. The successful candidate will be computer literate with a good knowledge of Excel. You will also possess good numerical skills and excellent organisational abilities. As this is a unique role, previous experience is not necessary, but you must be dedicated, committed and willing to learn. Full training will be provided. Experience in the fruit business an advantage.

Well, when we were alerted to this-once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to break into the banana-ripening trade, we thought someone was having a laugh. However, a quick peruse of Global Fruit's website revealed that it does indeed ripen bananas, and that its "banana ripening managers have been fully trained and have over 40 years experience in ripening bananas".

Splendid. We now have an explanation for that well-known Dublin phrase which hitherto had no plausible provenance:

Pub landlord: Hello, mate. How was the match on Saturday?
Mick Micheál: Bloody awful - a bit like watching bananas ripen. ®

New hybrid storage solutions

More from The Register

next story
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Jony Ive: Apple iWatch will SCREW UP Switzerland's economy
Apple's chief designer forgot one crucial point about overpriced bling
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.