Feeds

HP boffin predicts preggers spy bog

Get ready to buy a lot of expensive ink in 2057

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Stupid future HP has wheeled out a futurologist to tell everyone we're going to need a lot more enterprise-class storage, printer ink and and branded glossy photo paper in the year 2057.

As well as fattening photo albums, ubiquitous monitoring devices could be a threat to liberty, according to a groundbreaking speech by Martin Sadler, director of HP's crystal ball-polishing Trusted Systems Lab.

At a British Computer Society 50th anniversary event, he said that in 50 years time there will be at least one million spooky recording devices per person to capture our every move. He reckons up to 20 million cameras, motion sensors, sound recorders and other will make it possible to parse our entire lives, the BBC reports.

What anyone might want to do this for is somewhat unclear, but Sadler goes all Minority Report on our collective future-ass: "Maybe the first time you know you are pregnant is when a targeted piece of advertising comes through on your computer screen offering you some baby clothes because somehow the smart toilet, or some other aspect of your environment, leaked that information." Oo-er.

The seeds of this nightmare future where you can't take a piss without Google pumping ads direct to your retina are already being sown. A three year MIT Media Lab study [you again, lads? See here for a little background] is recording every gurgle and twitch of Associate Professor Deb Roy's baby son in a bid to win press coverage uncover the secrets of human development.

Sadler concluded: "We have some real choices that we can make over the next few years about how much we benefit from all this information...or how much it presents some sort of dark future for us." On his evidence, we predict a bright future for HP however. ®

Bootnote

According to Sadler, in 2057 our own bodies will also be "highly instrumented". This cast-iron research finding will come as no surprise to frontier-surfing man-machine Professor Kevin Warwick; AKA Captain Cyborg. In fact, he's probably a bit miffed at Sadler wandering onto his media-whoring cyberturf.

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
SECRET U.S. 'SPACE WARPLANE' set to return from SPY MISSION
Robot minishuttle X-37B returns after almost 2 years in orbit
No sail: NASA spikes Sunjammer
'Solar sail' demonstrator project binned
LOHAN crash lands on CNN
Overflies Die Welt en route to lively US news vid
You can crunch it all you like, but the answer is NOT always in the data
Hear that, 'data journalists'? Our analytics prof holds forth
Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box
Phytosanitary treatment renders Vulture 2 crate fit for export
Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody
Cringeworthy, crude and crass jokes abound in Steven Erikson’s sci-fi debut
Origins of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE fished out of SCOTTISH LAKE
Fossil find proves it first happened 385 million years ago
America's super-secret X-37B plane returns to Earth after nearly TWO YEARS aloft
674 days in space for US Air Force's mystery orbital vehicle
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.