In yet more penis-related news, a Russian man who decided to watch TV in the buff angered his ex-wife sufficiently for her to torch his personal effects. He described the ordeal as "monstrously painful" and it is unsure whether he'll make a full recovery. Cue the jokes, and a plot for revenge:

I guess next time he'll take her seriously when she yells, "I swear to God, Vladimir, put that thing away or I'll set it on fire!"

David Wiernicki

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A song springs to mind. "Come on baby light my fire"

OUCH!!!!!

Robert McCracken

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If it was in Oz you could have had "woman chucks another shrimp on the barbie".

I'll get me coat.

Lloyd

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There are many over-the-counter products that can be surreptitiously applied to certain women's undergarments that cover certain parts of a woman's anatomy that will induce (over a short time) an overwhelming desire to remove such undergarments immediately. In great haste. No matter the current company.

While not physically scarring like fire on a "stick", the target of revenge being stuck on an airliner or some other suitably confined space and being forced to disrobe in public because her nether regions were on fire.....Priceless.

Men rule the world for a reason.

Tony

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Another song springs to mind: "My Old Flame"

Far more appropriate, as three years on she's still carrying a torch for him. How romantic ^^

igmc

Rose

Fun-loving gunslingers have been blamed for the destruction of a stretch of fibre-optic cable in Ohio, causing TeliaSonera to lose the northern branch of its US network. The company had it coming, apparently:

So? On the 4th of July it's every American's right to blow up part of his country with recreational explosives. That should take even more of the interweb down!

Tawakalna

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You Might Be a Red-Neck Nerd If:

You release your networking irritations by takin' out the shotgun and shooting the cable wires.

Jaden Kale

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Calling a network 'bullet proof' is an irresistable challenge to certain categories of yahoo...

laird cummings