Feeds

Livid woman torches ex-hubby's wedding tackle

'Monstrously painful', admits Moscow human candle

Security for virtualized datacentres

A Moscow man who ill-advisedly decided to sit watching telly in the nude in the flat he shared with his ex-missus earned himself a wedding-tackle-torching for his trouble, the Evening Standard reports.

The unnamed man's former wife evidently took exception to his vodka-swilling TV viewing, and duly set fire to his penis. A police spokeswoman admitted it was "difficult to predict" if the human candle would make a full recovery from the ordeal which he described as "monstrously painful".

He added: "I was burning like a torch. I don't know what I did to deserve this."

In case you're wondering, the couple divorced three years back, but continued to cohabit, an arrangement "common in Russia where property costs are very high". ®

Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management

More from The Register

next story
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.