Survey vindicates outsourcers' green press release bombardment
Quick, hide the technoslops
Outsourcing clients have caught the green bug big time, and will force the faceless global omnicorps they employ to clean up their act or slide into oblivion.
That's according to a report sexily entitled The Black Book of Outsourcing. Outsourcing consultancy Brown-Wilson Group reckons the vogue for mincing around a yurt with an organic hemp manbag full of dolphin-free jossticks means industry will have to offer greened up contracts.
The news will cause delighted chanting at inhouse press teams and two-bit PR firms who have latterly centred their chi on sending El Reg dozens of press releases daily regarding their vendor's carbon neutral pencil sharpening process.
A survey for the report found that 21 per cent of outsourcing clients have included "green policies and performance" demands to their vendor contractual arrangements in 2007.
Apparently, over 94 per cent plan on adding clauses or including "green" in their renegotiations processes. Although in some cases that could mean the client will insist on all outsourced call centre staff wear a "green" hat when addressing a visiting executive.
Co-author Scott Wilson said the most frantic whale-romancing activity will come from the Indian and Chinese firms who have traditionally flogged cheaper, dirtier services. He said: "While many outsourcing vendors, particularly European and US based vendors have already established proactive green corporate policies, there will be a flurry of activity among offshore firms from India and China to retain competitive appeal."
So, to the press release generator. ®
It's Friday afternoon. Pub o'clock has been and gone. No thanks whatsoever then to whoever perpetrated this injustice on the English language on behalf of Brown-Wilson Group. The Caps Are All Theirs.
Are Your Company's Outsourcers Improving the Environment on Behalf of Your Organization, or Adding to Global Warming - A Report by the Outsourcing Industry Consultant Firm Brown-Wilson Group States Organizations in North America and Europe Plan to Continue Their Outsourcing Initiatives While Cautiously Shifting Functional Responsibility for Corporate Environmental Concerns to the Supplier, but at the Same Time, Most Buyers Are Demanding That Their Suppliers Implement Comprehensive Green Initiatives to Assure Compliance.
Bloody hell. That was their intro.
Re: Perpetrating injustices on the English language
I counted seven spelling or grammatical errors in that short article. Was it written after a Friday session with Lunchtime O'Booze?
While David is absolutely correct, wait, Ron's afterthought takes the cake.
I am still chuckling - you guys made my day.
"A Report by the Outsourcing Industry Consultant Firm Brown-Wilson"
What an odd name, Firm Brown-Wilson. I bet he was teased at school. But I imagine he was a hit with the ladies.
Oh, I see. It's a consultant firm called Brown-Wilson. Ah. Firm is not a first name. Shame.
Let's All Jump On The Band Wagon...
And While We Do That We Can Ask How Much This Green-ness Is Going To Cost Consumers... Wait! I ThInK It WiLl LoOk BeTtEr If We AlSo CaPiTaLiZe EvErY OtHeR LeTtEr!
On the other hand...
What a lovely platform for satire.
Nice piece, Chris. You left out boku-maru, though.