Feeds

Man loses leg in bathtub romp

And dead men buy no ringtones

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Comments Friday is here again, and we begin on a pious note. Good news for the ostentatiously religious among you: Gold River Productions has come out with a Christian ringtones service. Fellow commuters can be treated to a reading of a bible verse or a Christian rock ditty, among other choices, and you might want to hold off answering the call so they can get the full benefit. Answering "HELLO? I'M ON THE ARK. NO, THE ARK!" is discouraged.

I think I'll change my ring tone to a few screamed "Alllllllaaaaaaah"'s.

I imagine it would do wonders to clears queues in shops.

Anon


Dear god... Imagine the crazy frog version of 'the lord is my shephard'..

Anon


Islamic extremists could save a lot if you used Nokia's which screamed 'for Allah' or Allah is great' before the batteries self destructed.

HonourableTyr


Last I heard the Islam faith's higher-ups had stomped on an attempt at Koran-based ringtones as rather tacky and not with the spirit of the faith (in part because people tend to cut the ring-tone off mid-sentence which is just downright rude to Allah).

LaeMi Qian


Ouch, mobile ringtons + religion = the two biggest annoyances in the world in one small box!

Need some atheist comeback ringtones: "There is no God. You have a call. There is no God. You have a call."

Or for the more open-minded: "There may be something out there but I'm undecided. Ring. There may be something out there but I'm undecided. Ring."

eddiewrenn

What about Richard Dawkins quotes? Could lead to a few righteous tussles.


A steamy three-in-a-bath romp led to the dismissal of a female Telstra employee on grounds of sexual harassment, but she has won her case for unfair dismissal. She has been compensated and got her job back. There were many facets of this story to discuss, and you covered quite a few:

Oh so what.

It was a Christmas party, that for 3 people, got a little out of hand. I'm sure we've all been there.

Just because her fellow female employee's clearly aren't getting any at home, there's no reason deprive somebody whose already going to feel terrible (if not, then she really should) in the morning, of their livelyhood. If she'd have done this actually during work time, then I could see why they'd want to fire her, but during a party...

Who wants to bet the re-hiring committee was made up exclusivly of men thinking of going to THIS year's Christmas bash

Edward Pearson


Sounds like this girl likes a good sacking.

barbecuesteve


My job is so boring. The best we get is someone puking in the toilets.

Natalie Gritpants


Competition time:

What are the positions that can be adopted for a three in a bath romp? Preferably ones that won't result in you slipping and breaking your neck or drowning. Tap shaped bruising is probably inevitable.

Niall

They probably used snorkels.


If you are in a hotel room with others and wake up and need to go to the bathroom, but it's occupied, what would you do?

I would use the public restroom on the same floor, or worst case, in the lobby. It would not even occur to me to enter a bathroom with three "busy" people and attempt to pee with them watching and then get upset enough about it to get someone fired afterwards. Who even does that??

Anon

Someone plainly very desperate for the loo.

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.