Feeds

Man loses leg in bathtub romp

And dead men buy no ringtones

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Comments Friday is here again, and we begin on a pious note. Good news for the ostentatiously religious among you: Gold River Productions has come out with a Christian ringtones service. Fellow commuters can be treated to a reading of a bible verse or a Christian rock ditty, among other choices, and you might want to hold off answering the call so they can get the full benefit. Answering "HELLO? I'M ON THE ARK. NO, THE ARK!" is discouraged.

I think I'll change my ring tone to a few screamed "Alllllllaaaaaaah"'s.

I imagine it would do wonders to clears queues in shops.

Anon


Dear god... Imagine the crazy frog version of 'the lord is my shephard'..

Anon


Islamic extremists could save a lot if you used Nokia's which screamed 'for Allah' or Allah is great' before the batteries self destructed.

HonourableTyr


Last I heard the Islam faith's higher-ups had stomped on an attempt at Koran-based ringtones as rather tacky and not with the spirit of the faith (in part because people tend to cut the ring-tone off mid-sentence which is just downright rude to Allah).

LaeMi Qian


Ouch, mobile ringtons + religion = the two biggest annoyances in the world in one small box!

Need some atheist comeback ringtones: "There is no God. You have a call. There is no God. You have a call."

Or for the more open-minded: "There may be something out there but I'm undecided. Ring. There may be something out there but I'm undecided. Ring."

eddiewrenn

What about Richard Dawkins quotes? Could lead to a few righteous tussles.


A steamy three-in-a-bath romp led to the dismissal of a female Telstra employee on grounds of sexual harassment, but she has won her case for unfair dismissal. She has been compensated and got her job back. There were many facets of this story to discuss, and you covered quite a few:

Oh so what.

It was a Christmas party, that for 3 people, got a little out of hand. I'm sure we've all been there.

Just because her fellow female employee's clearly aren't getting any at home, there's no reason deprive somebody whose already going to feel terrible (if not, then she really should) in the morning, of their livelyhood. If she'd have done this actually during work time, then I could see why they'd want to fire her, but during a party...

Who wants to bet the re-hiring committee was made up exclusivly of men thinking of going to THIS year's Christmas bash

Edward Pearson


Sounds like this girl likes a good sacking.

barbecuesteve


My job is so boring. The best we get is someone puking in the toilets.

Natalie Gritpants


Competition time:

What are the positions that can be adopted for a three in a bath romp? Preferably ones that won't result in you slipping and breaking your neck or drowning. Tap shaped bruising is probably inevitable.

Niall

They probably used snorkels.


If you are in a hotel room with others and wake up and need to go to the bathroom, but it's occupied, what would you do?

I would use the public restroom on the same floor, or worst case, in the lobby. It would not even occur to me to enter a bathroom with three "busy" people and attempt to pee with them watching and then get upset enough about it to get someone fired afterwards. Who even does that??

Anon

Someone plainly very desperate for the loo.

Remote control for virtualized desktops

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

10 ways wire data helps conquer IT complexity
IT teams can automatically detect problems across the IT environment, spot data theft, select unique pieces of transaction payloads to send to a data source, and more.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
How to determine if cloud backup is right for your servers
Two key factors, technical feasibility and TCO economics, that backup and IT operations managers should consider when assessing cloud backup.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence
Download Choosing a Cloud Hosting Provider with Confidence to learn more about cloud computing - the new opportunities and new security challenges.