Foxy Brown cuffed on Blackberry assault rap
Alleged device-chucking rapstress detained
Rapstress Foxy Brown has confirmed the BlackBerry as bitchslap assault weapon of choice by earning herself a cuffing for allegedly (hand)setting about a woman with the popular mobile device, AP reports.
The battling 27-year-old chanteuse was arrested on Tuesday for allegedly assaulting 25-year-old Brooklyn neighbour Arlene Raymond. On 30 July, the two tussled over Brown "blasting her car stereo". A few days after the spat, as the pair passed in the street, "Brown hurled her BlackBerry at her [Raymond], cutting her lip and knocking a tooth loose".
Brown, née Inga Marchand, was subsequently released on $50,000 bail. Her manager Chaz Williams declared the charges false.
The incident may prove costly for Ms Brown. She's currently on probation after copping a guilty assault plea for wading in "over payment for a manicure at a nail salon" in 2004. Earlier this year, she was accused of violating her manicure probation for throwing hair glue at a beauty shop employee in Florida.
She could have been jailed for the adhesive outrage, but a Manhattan judge decided that "since she'd kept appointments with her probation officer, passed drug tests and attended required anger management classes", he didn't have to hand down a Paris Hilton.
Recovering Blackberry launch platform Naomi Campell was unavailable for comment today. ®
You or I
You or I would be buried in the deep recesses of the jail, being brought sunlight and fresh air in small milk cartons.
"I'm frankly amazed that the world of journalism (particularly El Reg) hasn't seen the possibility of renaming PH as "Bangkok Hilton"."
You misspelled (misspelt) Bang cock.
I'm frankly amazed that the world of journalism (particularly El Reg) hasn't seen the possibility of renaming PH as "Bangkok Hilton". Come on guys!
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
"Brown hurled her BlackBerry at her [Raymond], cutting her lip and knocking a tooth loose"
Perhaps the victim should have caught the Blackberry and driven off, thus nabbing all of Foxy Brown's super-secret information, or at least the information that Foxy Brown's PA (a horrible job) had loaded onto the device. At the very least she could receive Foxy Brown's emails, pretend to be Foxy Brown, and become Foxy Brown's nightmare.
Have I in fact just described the plot of "Poison Ivy 12"? Perhaps somebody could write some of this up and send a script off to the scuzziest, cheapest direct-to-DVD production company in Hollywood. Perhaps the film could actually star Foxy Brown.