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Reader succumbs to apostrophe apoplexy

Misplaced punctuation outrage

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

FoTW Our stateside correspondent Cade Metz had until this week managed to avoid attracting reader ire and thereby becoming a fully-fledged Reg hack via the usual FoTW baptism of fire.

Well, we're delighted to welcome Cade to the Vulture Central elite, whose membership he has deservedly earned by the following apostrophe outrage:

Between Earth and Maps, Google seems intent on serving up tightly woven digital photos of just about everything. It's ImageAmerica purchase comes just a few days after an eagle-eyed Gizmodo reader spotted a new fleet of Chevy Cobalts that will soon be snapping 360-degree photos for Google StreetView, the company's eye-level window onto the world. Enjoy your privacy while you can.

Suffice it to say, this shocking crime against punctuation has now been corrected, while Cade was subjected to the traditional punishment: two hours in the corner wearing the pointy hat followed by three weeks in our penal battalion* (writing copy for Channel Reg).

This, we reckon, should satisfy even the most fanatical grammar hardliner, but maybe not John Whitehead:

Piss poor

You claim a journalist's privilege to piss on everyone from a great height as if you've actually achieved something yourself yet you still haven't worked out how to use an apostrophe. Why should anyone begin to take you seriously? Go back to school, grow up a bit, see something of the world, work out that glibness and sophistication aren't synonyms and then try writing something worth reading.

Blimey. For the record, all Reg journos have now been signed up for an intensive apostrophe refresher course, at the end of which they will be issued with their official licences to piss on absolutely everyone from a very great height. ®

Bootnote

*He's joined by the member of El Reg's Strategy Boutique who this week sent an email declaring that we offer advertisers "cutting edge reader engagement solutions". Under interrogation, he admitted to having indulged in a brainstorm which concluded with the decision to "approach our customers/partners from a 360 degree holistic viewpoint which will allow turnkey solutions to their own unique value propositions". When shown the instruments of torture, he further confessed the whole thing had been conducted to the sound of "Medieval Monk chanting". We've got an exorcist and a specialist deprogramming team from Silicon Valley on standby. Watch this space.

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