Feeds

Keeping abreast of disappointing Apple products

Does anyone have the young nympho's number?

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

A decidedly non-nymphomaniacal (well, we assume) mum has been deluged with calls for 'the young nympho' ever since she transferred from BT to Virgin Media and received a new phone number as part of the package. It seems these sorts of mix-ups aren't unheard of:

A few years ago i kept getting wrong numbers to the same person on my landline. Then this guy phoned up and demanded to know who the hell i was and what was i doing answering his wife's mobile, he was convinced something was going on between me and his wife. It ended up with this person ringing my phone all evening when i couldn't convince him (And was forced to put the phone down on him to escape his yelling at me) there was obviously a fault on the line. I did get a final phone call from him (A few days later) saying that he had now proved there was a fault and we had a good chuckle about it.

Simon


All premium rate numbers are generally forwarded to other, normal numbers (hence "Say no to 0870")

Perhaps a mixup means that a premium rate number has been forwarded to her number. If, instead of talking dirty, she asked what number they had dialled, she would probably find it was not hers.

Leo Rampen


Doubtless the engineer will turn up complete with thick Dutch accent and dodgy moustache to 'tweak her settings'.

Mike Richards

But how will she pay him? Her husband has taken all the money in the house with him to work...


Something similar happened to my sister. BT gave her a number that previously belonged to an 'escort' who advertised in the back of the Daily Sport, and for a while received 10-20 calls a day from horny punters. When I pointed out she had inherited a ready made business, she just shouted & threw things.

Gilbert Wham


When I changed phone numbers a few years back someone kept leaving answer phone messages requesting I come and pick up a delivery of babies foreskins as they where running out of space!

Not wanting to cause any problems I spent ages trying to figure out what they could be use for, in the end pickling them or making a curry seemed like the best idea. Unfortunately they never phoned when I was at home so I was unable to offer my helpful solution to their foreskin storage problems.

Anon


A German bus driver, unaccountably more interested in a passenger's jubs than the road, stopped the vehicle and demanded that she move so that he could concentrate. A lively discussion of such hazards ensued, but not before some humourless bugger moaned about the lack of an IT angle - oh wait, he was having us on:

In before

"where's the IT angle?" and

"I used to respect the register it used to be a respectable site!"

Matt

Nicely done Matt. A few red faces were triggered.


With a glint in my eye and deep sense of anticipation I went to check out the life threatening hooters only to be disappointed with a face shot of the lovely lady with not a breast in sight. Thanks for nothing, Reg...

Mind you, there was a nice pair on the advert for the German eBay site, though. All's well that end's well.

Richard


Pfft. I've been distracted by bigger.

The bus driver needs to learn how to polish the one-eyed gopher and drive a bus at the same time. Problemo solved.

Mike Campbell


I wouldn't kick her out of bed for farting, never mind move her out of view.... silly bus driver... there are worse reasons to crash! :)

Anon


Be aware that objects in the mirror will actaully be bigger than they may appear.

Anon

And with that, we adjourn to the local watering house, to debate the distractive value of various body parts and the potential pitfalls that result. Business as usual. ®

The essential guide to IT transformation

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Backing up Big Data
Solving backup challenges and “protect everything from everywhere,” as we move into the era of big data management and the adoption of BYOD.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?