iPhones, iPhones and more iPhones

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Comments It's been a particularly iPhone-strewn week, now that the Yanks have got their hands on the precious device, and the lovers and haters have come right out of the woodwork.

New hack Jefferson Alberry II received the customary Reg reader welcome in the comments on his first story, What's al-Qaeda's take on the iPhone? A particularly fine example is the latest FoTW, and the rest are on the story's comments page. Here are a few choice ones:

Daily iPhone Bollocks. Haven't we got tired of this yet?

Frank Bough

Including al-Qaeda and iPhone in the one article?

Are these the most searched for words on Google at the moment?

I'm guessing this is a shameless attempt to increase the number of hits on El Reg. They're probably trying to flog themselves to Rupert Murdoch. :)

Adrian Jones

If you are questioning our integrity, we refer you to the Register Tariff: sweeping editorial influence still available from just £1,500 pm!

If that was meant to be humour, I'd advise Jefferson Alberry II not to give up his real job.

"Jefferson Alberry II is a Second Life consultant and Web 2.0 leverage advisor."

Oh dear, he doesn't have a real job.

David Harper

What was the point of that article? Shut up about the cocking iPhone. It's just a phone, not a cure for fscking AIDS. Apple's coke snorting PR/Media luvvies will still hate you, no matter how many articles you write about their fecking phone.


Fraser later admitted to not reading the article before submitting a comment. Tisk.

Yes, alright very clever. But, to be serious for a moment, what's Paris Hilton's take on the iphone?

Richard Johnson

Sources close to sources close to Ms Hilton inform us that she thinks the iPhone is "like, really hot".

In among all the ultra-cool features on this little doozy of a phone is what many could find to be a rather annoying issue: you can't enable manual management of your music in the phone. Some of you were outraged, some unfazed:

I had no issues just dragging and dropping into my iPhone when I had automatic synching turned off. It's once you turn that on, or don't turn it off, that I had the 'grey-wash'.


All of the things listed here are not 'missing features' but are instead unimplemented features. Apple was down to the wire with the iPhone's release, taking people off of the coding for Leopard just to get things finished in time. They released only the things they were confident in from a stability point of view. There are a LOT of features that the iPhone WILL be getting in the near future, probably around the time of Leopard launch if not before. Apple didn't want people's phone crashing by adding a lot of cool features they hadn't had time to do complete bug stomping on. I will bet the iPhone will continue to incite 'buzz' as Apple lets these 'missing features' out a little (or lot) at a time.


It's all part of The Plan. Apple began with hackers - this is Steve's plan to reintroduce hacking to civilised computing, restoring them to their status as demigods.

Bring back Lee Felsenstein!

John S. Wilkins

"All of the things listed here are not 'missing features' but are instead unimplemented features............... "

So what you're saying is, that it's perfectly acceptable to purchase a product that does not work acceptably or as advertised, because "sometime in the near future, the supplier might bother to release an update that resolves this"

Would you buy a car that couldn't go into reverse gear? Would you buy a toothbrush with 5 bristles but hole for a further 400 that could be later attached with an "optional" upgrade?

Accepting that any manufacturer can foist us off with unfinished or faulty tatt is just stupid - it doesn't matter who the manufacturer is.

Nick Ryan

I _heart_ Apple

..........Insert sycophantic drivel here..........

Apple Fanboi

As is usual when Mac and PC users come into contact, there's been a bit of a tussle. Have a look-see here.

Blendtec's Tom Dickson has offered the ultimate answer to all this iPhone hype, with a video of the device being blended.

What a great clip!

I would have thought that it may just have been a bit safer to remove the battery first..... but what the hell!


That Blendtec guy is a hero, always pushing new technologies... into his blender. And they always blend!


Did anyone else notice the death-rattle of that iPhone as it was turned into dust?

If you watch the slo-mo replay, you can hear it cry out in agony just as it starts to break up.

So it's made from magic pixies after all...

Adam Maguire

Wimps, they did not have it fully charged. The clearly missed on the joy of sniffing sublimated lithium oxide... And the joy of having no lung lining after that... Wimps

Anton Ivanov

*holds hand on heart* Sweeet land of liiiberty. *wipes a tear of joy*


But life's not all about iPhones. There's also pornography. For reasons best known to herself, a Texan former porn star borrowed a classmate's name for her antics on the small, fogged-up screen. Understandably outraged, the victim has sued for humiliation and embarrassment. But you managed to get straight down to the real issues:

Having Googled Syvette Wimberly, it's a shame she chose to leave all that behind her, she certainly looked as though she knew what she was doing :-)

Ian Hunter

Come on, she could have thought of something more appropriate. We have Johnny Wad, Christy Canyon, Monica Titsworthy. Even Ian Fleming came up with some great names. Pussy Galore comes to mind.

Dillon Pyron

If this was a guy he'd be a local legend, and love the attention.

Well, maybe not in America, where the first instinct is to sue for money.

Incidentally there is a guy at work called Ben D'ovur.

Joe K

"this suit will never hold up in court"

Much respect to Kent Schaffer for deliberately choosing not to say "stand up in court", and for avoiding the word limp.

Ashley Pomeroy

There was also a lively exchange of porn star names, and we invite you to submit your own to our "Nom de Sex" contest.

A Swedish granny now has the world's fastest private internet connection, at 40 Gb/s. It's a shame she didn't have it set up last winter, when she could have enjoyed webcam footage of the Gavle Goat in unequalled detail. The news prompted extreme connection envy on your part:

with a connection like that a guy's pornography collection could really flourish!


Or a gran's. Keep an open mind.

I've never truly known the meaning of "green with envy" until now. I hope she also has a good storage setup, she could be burning through HD space like a Baldwin through blow.

Bryan Baca

Yeah, yeah - seen it all before. This is obviously the same data transmission technology that Jeff Goldblum used for his teleportation machine in The Fly back in the 80s. Bet it even has the same blue flashing lights and dry-ice effect.

So if a Scandinavian granny pops out of your wireless router sometime soon you'll know they're having DNS problems in Sweden...

Ian McNee

I'm curious to know how big the cupboard under her stairs is (doesn't everyone keep the firewall under the stairs?)... I'm currently testing some 40Gb installations, and the terminal equipment occupies all of both sides of a 19 inch rack, 47u high, and then a couple more racks to turn the bits into something useful (SDI video, ATM feeds, AES audios, oh, and 4Gb of IP).

Neil Barnes

I'd lay good money that she has dozens of computers, lives in a secret volcano hideout and has a white cat.


She'd better have. We hate to think of such a connection going to waste when it could be advancing our plans for world domination at the secret underwater Vulture Complex.

I've said too much... ®

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