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Durex seeks hardened condom testers

200 positions must be filled Down Under

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Durex Down Under is looking for Aussies over the age of 18 to fill 200 positions as condom testers, stuff.co.nz reports.

Durex marketing manager Sam White explained that successful applicants would get a AU$60 selection of rubberwear, and would be "required to provide the company with honest feedback about the products' performance".

He said: "With this job on your CV, it really will be a chance to brag to your mates about the special skills you possess, not to mention that your new role will work wonders with the opposite sex."

White added: "Who wouldn't want to have a chance with an actual authorised professional?" We assume he's talking about Durex, rather than state-approved ladies of the night, who would undoubtedly be happy to welcome a display of special skills in return for a small consideration.

The condom-testing jobs are unpaid, although one rumpy-pumper will be paid a AU$1,000 bonus. We feel no further comment is necessary, except to offer this extract from 1965 film What's New, Pussycat?:

Michael James: Did you find a job?
Victor Skakapopulis: Yeah, I got something at the striptease. I help the girls dress and undress.
Michael James: Nice job.
Victor Skakapopulis: Twenty francs a week.
Michael James: Not very much.
Victor Skakapopulis: It's all I can afford.

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