Enraged reader savages iPhone fanboys
'What a bunch of f***ing morons'
FoTW Well, it's been quite a week. The release of Apple's long-awaited, eagerly-anticipated and much-hyped iPhone saw a level of fanboy hysteria matched only by the 1632 demonic possession of the Ursuline convent in Loudun - a sorry affair later attributed to a nasty case of mass hysteria.
A provocative parallel, we're sure you'll agree. However, while the Loudun outrage finally resulted in local priest Urbain Grandier being burnt alive at the stake for having bewitched the nuns, no one as yet has been called to account for the mob frenzy which has gripped at least 500,000 US members of the Church of the Divine Jobs.
Which is a shame, according to the anonymous commentator who felt moved to offer a reasoned analysis on the chilling news that the forces of darkness were attempting with black magic to bend the iPhone to their satanic master's will:
For f*ck sake...it's just a phone/mp3 player/browser...who sh*tting cares if it can be hacked. Just use it as it was intended and stop being a complete bunch of geeky f*ckheads with nothing better to do with your time than sit with your fingers up your a*ses twiddling your prostates...hmmm, does that feel good!! F*cking idiots.
What a bunch of f*cking morons. Do you take apart your toasters at home because Breville are better than DeLonghi?? WTF. You guys need to get yourselves some serious action to distract you from the pathetic diatribe!!
Our suggestion? Throw the lot of 'em in the village pond and see if they float. If they do, prepare the faggots and flaming pitch barrels of righteous indignation. Amen. ®