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Website honours battling Glasgow baggage handler

Buy a pint for 'BAA's answer to Jack Bauer'

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A website set up to honour battling Glaswegian baggage handler John Smeaton, who magnificently waded in to prevent al-Qaeda's comedy kamikaze division raining fiery apocalypse upon the UK's airport infrastructure, has succeeded in getting grateful netizens to stick 480 pints behind the bar of the Glasgow Airport Holiday Inn for his drinking pleasure.

The blurb explains:

As thousands of Glaswegians queued, moaned and sneakily sipped Buckfast on a rainy Saturday afternoon, one man stood vigilant outside the airport terminal. Baggage supervisor, hero, smoker. John Smeaton.

Little did he know, as he happily dragged on his fag, that two crazed al-Qaeda operatives were preparing to meet their maker. But they didn't meet their maker. Instead they met BAA's answer to Jack Bauer.

As the Jeep's engine revved and the passenger started chucking the petrol containers out the windows like he was Santa in Shettleston, one man stepped in to help The Law take control...

Good stuff. The ultimate aim of the site is to provide Smeaton with a fighting reserve of 1,000 pints - roughly enough to keep our man fuelled for 50 days, if this hack's experiences of Glasgow are anything to go by. Those wishing to chip in three quid to reward the "Smeatonator" can do so here. Cheers. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

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