Feeds

Website honours battling Glasgow baggage handler

Buy a pint for 'BAA's answer to Jack Bauer'

Build a business case: developing custom apps

A website set up to honour battling Glaswegian baggage handler John Smeaton, who magnificently waded in to prevent al-Qaeda's comedy kamikaze division raining fiery apocalypse upon the UK's airport infrastructure, has succeeded in getting grateful netizens to stick 480 pints behind the bar of the Glasgow Airport Holiday Inn for his drinking pleasure.

The blurb explains:

As thousands of Glaswegians queued, moaned and sneakily sipped Buckfast on a rainy Saturday afternoon, one man stood vigilant outside the airport terminal. Baggage supervisor, hero, smoker. John Smeaton.

Little did he know, as he happily dragged on his fag, that two crazed al-Qaeda operatives were preparing to meet their maker. But they didn't meet their maker. Instead they met BAA's answer to Jack Bauer.

As the Jeep's engine revved and the passenger started chucking the petrol containers out the windows like he was Santa in Shettleston, one man stepped in to help The Law take control...

Good stuff. The ultimate aim of the site is to provide Smeaton with a fighting reserve of 1,000 pints - roughly enough to keep our man fuelled for 50 days, if this hack's experiences of Glasgow are anything to go by. Those wishing to chip in three quid to reward the "Smeatonator" can do so here. Cheers. ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN
Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Too rich for an iPhone 6? How about a gold-plated Brikk?
Not lobbed at your head, silly – a bling phone
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.