Feeds

Microsoft shill blogs steal Reg commercial strategy c.2001

In the blogosphere, everyone can hear you squeal for cash

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Boost IT visibility and business value

The Register has been appalled by Microsoft paying bloggers to write advertorial for its latest hype campaign. The reason? We thought of it first, dammit.

In the past few days, John Battelle's (pictured) Federated Media blog advertising network has been bombarded by criticism after it got its name brand tech watchers Om Malik and Michael Arrington* to thump the tub on behalf of Redmond's "people ready" marketing wheeze. They agreed to provide canned quotes explaining what "people ready" means, such as "without people, there are no ideas", which we can all get on board with.

Federated's sponsorship boutique built a lovely bespoke website on Microsoft's behalf to contain the quotes and disseminate the idea, which was thought of by a person.

A picture of John Battelle, middle finger extended pic courtesy of John Dvorak

John Battelle: people ready

Gawker boss Nick Denton led the whiney cries of foul on Valleywag. In a post entitled "Buying their voices", Jeff Jarvis, another blogger who Federated Media handles commercial ventures for, couldn't get his old-fashioned head around this exciting new paradigm in three-way digital conversations between writers, readers, and gigantic, pervasive, global technology omnicorps.

Except it's not new. Long-time readers will remember that The Register pioneered this brave new world of "conversational" marketing in a policy we announced in 2001 under the heading "We'll do anything for money". For example, here's our Diamond Service, which in dotcom fallout days costs a bargain £5,000 per month:

For the big swinging dicks of the IT world there is only one choice - Diamond Service. Additional benefits of the Diamond card include:
  • Fingering of any mole within your company
  • Stories saying anything you like about your competitors, regardless of legality
  • A Golden Vulture award for any of your products complete with statuette, signed certificate and accompanying story pretending that we really like you and are really, really interested in what you're selling

A service years ahead of its time - which is Now - we're sure you'll agree.®

*Malik has decided he's not people ready anymore. Arrington is defiant, "fighting alone in a sea of controversy". That martyr complex is coming along nicely, Michael.

Integrity - we've heard of it

Prospective commenters who want to avoid sounding like a confused Frenchman are politely invited to avail themselves of this - a second handy Reg policy guide, before proceeding.

An in-depth survey of The Register's cadre of technology experts reveals that "people ready" actually means "sweet f.a.". We expect a fat cheque forthwith.

Build a business case: developing custom apps

More from The Register

next story
KDE releases ice-cream coloured Plasma 5 just in time for summer
Melty but refreshing - popular rival to Mint's Cinnamon's still a work in progress
Leaked Windows Phone 8.1 Update specs tease details of Nokia's next mobes
New screen sizes, dual SIMs, voice over LTE, and more
Mozilla keeps its Beard, hopes anti-gay marriage troubles are now over
Plenty on new CEO's todo list – starting with Firefox's slipping grasp
Apple: We'll unleash OS X Yosemite beta on the MASSES on 24 July
Starting today, regular fanbois will be guinea pigs, it tells Reg
Another day, another Firefox: Version 31 is upon us ALREADY
Web devs, Mozilla really wants you to like this one
Secure microkernel that uses maths to be 'bug free' goes open source
Hacker-repelling, drone-protecting code will soon be yours to tweak as you see fit
Cloudy CoreOS Linux distro declares itself production-ready
Lightweight, container-happy Linux gets first Stable release
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.
Maximize storage efficiency across the enterprise
The HP StoreOnce backup solution offers highly flexible, centrally managed, and highly efficient data protection for any enterprise.