Feeds

Alaskan man guilty of flogging seal penises

Illegally handled aphrodisiac 'oosiks'

High performance access to file storage

An Alaskan man faces a possible one year's jail and a $20,000 fine after pleading guilty to one count of violating the Marine Mammal Protection Act, viz: flogging 100 fur seal penises, aka "oosiks", to a gift shop "that intended to sell the items as an aphrodisiac".

According to Reuters, Michael Richard Zacharof, "an Aleut and former tribal president from the Bering Sea village of St Paul", pleaded guilty to the charge under the law which "forbids the sale of any raw marine mammal parts unless they have been crafted into pieces of Alaska Native artwork".*

Assistant US Attorney Andrea Steward explained that "seal penis bones, also known as seal sticks, are believed to have properties similar to erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra". The gift shop in question catered for customers in Asia, who paid around $100 a pop for the oosiks. ®

Bootnote

*The first person to make a quip about how Zacharof could have circumvented the Marine Mammal Protection Act by simply carving the oosiks into novelty Aleut candlestick holders will be banned from reading El Reg for a year and fined $20,000.

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Elon Musk's LEAKY THRUSTER gas stalls Space Station supply run
Helium seeps from Falcon 9 first stage, delays new legs for NASA robonaut
Solar-powered aircraft unveiled for round-the-world flight
It's going to be a slow and sleepy flight for the pilots
Russian deputy PM: 'We are coming to the Moon FOREVER'
Plans to annex Earth's satellite with permanent base by 2030
LOHAN's Punch and Judy show relaunches Thursday
Weather looking good for second pop at test flights
Saturn spotted spawning new FEMTO-MOON
Icy 'Peggy' looks to be leaving the outer rings
Discovery time for 200m WONDER MATERIALS shaved from 4 MILLENNIA... to 4 years
Alloy, Alloy: Boffins in speed-classification breakthrough
India's GPS alternative launches second satellite
Closed satnav system due to have all seven birds aloft by 2016
Curiosity finds not-very-Australian-shaped rock on Mars
File under 'messianic pastries' and move on, people
Top Secret US payload launched into space successfully
Clandestine NRO spacecraft sets off on its unknown mission
prev story

Whitepapers

Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.