Feeds

eBayers fail to bite amazing penis-shaped crisp

Limp bidding, despite magical powers

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

eBayers have so far failed to bite an amazing penis-shaped crisp which the seller claims will bestow great riches upon the lucky winning bidder.

A picture of the penis-shaped crispSadly, the top bid currently stands at a limp £4.70, despite the come-on:

During a dull lunch time sandwich, the amazing penis crisp was revealed from a normal packet of walkers crisps. (as part of an otherwise normal boots meal deal.)

Heralded as a cure for male potency problems* and possibly a source of immense good fortune*, the amazing penis crisp is the crisp product everyone wants. Probably.

The amazing penis crisp will be carefully boxed in some sort of anti-crisp damage box (having a bit of trouble finding such a thing at the moment) and sent first class post to the lucky lucky winner.

The length of the amazing penis crisp is 3.2 inches and it has a 1 inch girth.

HAPPY BIDDING PEOPLE!!! MAY THE LUCK OF THE CRISP PENIS SHINE ON YOU!!!! Please feel free to ask any penis crisp related questions.

*unsubstantiated.

Hmmm. While the amazing penis-shaped crisp may be of some interest to Golden Palace Casino, we can't help feeling the vendor might have attracted more public interest with an astounding El Reg vulture potato-based snack simulacrum.

Bootnote

Thanks to Mohin Miah for the tip-off.

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Seattle children’s accelerates Citrix login times by 500% with cross-tier insight
Seattle Children’s is a leading research hospital with a large and growing Citrix XenDesktop deployment. See how they used ExtraHop to accelerate launch times.
10 threats to successful enterprise endpoint backup
10 threats to a successful backup including issues with BYOD, slow backups and ineffective security.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?