This stuff gets better and better each week.

I swear, for a moment, I was worried that we may never see the PFY again!

After all, A true BOFH would have left something very unpleasant waiting for anyone with a mind to tamper with switch board... unless that <CLACK> wasn't actually the breaker popping?

He's not just a bastard, he's THE Bastard and it's Mr Bastard to us...

I figured when you steal the pfy there would be a "accidental" fire at gary's house when the alcohol in his fridge spilled on to the stove and blew the house up. But The pfy should be getting some off it to i suppose.

Has the BOFH actually ever killed anyone?

Not that anyone will ever prove....

About ten years ago I used to have an oppo that I called "the PFY" ... my bosses never, ever, understood it was actually meant as a compliment!!

I love these pieces, they remind me of the good old days when rags like PC Week still arrived in their pseudo tabloid format.

Dammit all though now I have left behind what the corporate bods in my place like to call infrastructure for the delights of Oracle. Perhaps the BOFH might like to branch out into tales of Oracle DBAs getting their rich reward for one too many "It's the code. You changed the code. The database is fine, your problem is your code." speeches.

Honestly if I hear one more 'expert' Oracle DBA lecture me that the very same PL/SQL that's been running daily for the last 2 years is the problem, and must have changed because it can't possibly be their precious database that is causing the performance lag, only to find out that the pillock messed with the server and invalidated several key indexes and all the table stats without noticing or correcting it. I may just have to start using some of Simon's tactics, I should probably request my email address is with-held at this point....

Now, where did the credentials for the HR system go....

"..ever actually killed anyone?"

You need to go back to the early episodes at the University, where oor Simon found raised floors very useful when it came to hiding the bodies of unsuccessful service engineers