Brit cuffed for German towel-torching raid
Coach driver liberates Italian Riviera sun loungers
A Brit coach driver successfully liberated Italian Riviera sun loungers from foreign occupation by setting fire to the towels traditionally used to denote German territorial sovereignty.
Glyn Bowden, 55, was driver for 55 South Wales tourists at at Diano Marina near San Remo. He yesterday recounted how the Germans "put their towels on the best sunbeds on the private beach and by a nearby pool", much to the chagrin of the British party, The Daily Mail reports.
Following complaints, Bowden told his party to "leave it to me", and duly dumped the towels at the end of the pool. He reported: "The following morning the Germans put them down even earlier so I did the same - with them shaking their fists at me from their windows."
"The next morning about 20 towels were there again so I collected them up, put them on a pile on the beach - and lit them. All the British tourists were cheering. But just a few minutes afterwards three police officers turned up and arrested me."
Indeed, Italian police held Bowden for two hours before the hotel's bosses successfully petitioned for his release. Bowden said: "They were going to charge me with criminal damage but the hotel - which owned the towels - intervened on my behalf."
The unrepentant Brit - who ensured no further German towel manoeuvres for the rest of the trip - declared: "The Germans thought they owned the private beach but I wanted to make sure my tourists got a crack of the whip."
We should note at this point that Bowden did in fact have recourse to international law to resolve the matter without incendiary action. Back in 2005, German lawyer Ralf Höcker declared sun lounger annexation illegal, explaining: "British tourist would be quite within their legal rights to ignore the reservation implied by the towels if there is nobody there." ®
It must be naff....
...to holiday in places where there are sun-beds, crowds and stuff-all sun. Here in God's own country we have more sun than we know what to do with. In fact, only the foolish & the Brit tourists go out in it.
does anyone care?
If you don't like a certain bunch of people go somewhere else. If you can't get a precious lounger go find one or make one from lollipop sticks and horse hair.
In reaction to: In the Netherlands it's not towels the Germans are famous for...
I agree. The Dutch are the worst people to have in your resort or on your camping. They bring their own food, are sticklers for low pricing and consider the Netherlands the best country in the world (shouting this often while commenting on other peoples culture and their lack of tollerance - WHAT?!). Oh, and don't forget the campers clogging up the roads from Moscow to Manchester! They're as loud as the most yobbish Brit, as stubborn as a German, as flirtatious as a Spannish beach comber with crabs (no.. not the animals) and as respectful as Al Qaeda interogators at Abu-Graib prison.
Conclusion: when on holiday avoid the Dutch at all costs! Trust me, I know. I am one. And I feel the shame.