Feeds

If Google is a Russian spy op, when will it buy U-Haul?

The Parboiled Age

Intelligent flash storage arrays

My confidence comes from the bloggers and their supporters in the mainstream media who have convinced themselves that they're making a difference, when they're in fact just adding to the disturbing name recognition trend. Instead of just hearing about the Bushies and Clinton on TV all the time, we now get to read about them all the time on the web too.

Here's me thanking the internet, while I choke down some American red meat, for changing so very little.

Apparently, very few of you want to face this reality. You tend to believe that news travels faster these days than it did when we just had the slow moving TV. You also think that some blogger digging into John Edwards's war record with vigilance can really shake up the status quo.

You also seem to think that Google is a better master than Microsoft.

Yeah, things are a lot better now that an ad broker rules our world than when a rather hapless operating system and productivity suite vendor garnered the most attention and respect.

I don't know about you, but I'd sure prefer to see Microsoft threatening to store every bit of information about my life than Google. You know Microsoft would mess it up.

Google this week tells us that it plans to answer questions such as "What shall I do tomorrow?"or "What job shall I take?".

I can assure you that the ad company hasn't gotten very far with this goal because I recently asked it if The Register wanted to be invited to Google's product launches, and Google responded, "No."

I'll blame that incorrect response on the inadequacy of Google's technology instead of the notion that a company with nothing to hide would block journalists who write sometimes unfavorable stories about it.

Speaking of which, does anyone else get the sense - and I write this mostly sober from behind a one-quarter full bottle of Jack Daniels - that Google is a front organization for Russia's government? I mean this seriously.

Can you prove to me that Sergey Brin wasn't a post Cold War experiment who was sent here to find an American patsy - Larry Page - as the comforting front for an all-seeing, all-knowing, all-collecting database company?

Anyway, if that is the case, it doesn't even scare me. I just hope Google takes over U-Haul and Walgreens. I need to medicate and ship off my twins.®

Otto Z. Stern is a director at The Institute of Technological Values - a think tank dedicated to a more moral digital age. He has closely monitored the IT industry's intersection with America's role as a world leader for thirty years. You can find Stern locked and loaded, corralling wounded iLemmings, talking, drinking and driving, reflecting on Anna Nicole Smith's American chest, suppressing Bill Gates U, developing strong Mexican engineers, corrupting his youth in Sadville, masticating beta culture, booing our soccer team, following Jimmy Wales, despising U-Haul, nursing an opal-plated prostate, spanking open source fly boys, Googling Bro-Magnon Man, wearing a smashing suit, watching Dead Man, dropping a SkyCar on the Googleplex, spitting on Frenchmen, and vomiting in fear with a life-sized cutout of Hilary Rosen at his solar-powered compound somewhere in the Great American Southwest.

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Go beyond APM with real-time IT operations analytics
How IT operations teams can harness the wealth of wire data already flowing through their environment for real-time operational intelligence.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
10 threats to successful enterprise endpoint backup
10 threats to a successful backup including issues with BYOD, slow backups and ineffective security.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.