Feeds

Judge in tech trial says he 'doesn't know what a website is'

As news breaks of beaks nabbed surfing smut at work

The Essential Guide to IT Transformation

Evidence has emerged today that British judges exhibit wildly differing levels of IT competence.

One beak at least is almost unbelievably ignorant. Judge Peter Openshaw reportedly told prosecutors at Woolwich Crown Court, South East London: “The trouble is I don’t understand the language. I don’t really understand what a website is.”

Lawyers tried to explain, but without success.

“I haven’t quite grasped the concepts," muttered the bewildered 59-year-old jurist.

When an expert witness was called to testify on IT-related matters, the technologically-challenged legal beagle became worried.

“Will you ask him to keep it simple?" pleaded Openshaw. "We’ve got to start from basics.”

The accused were Younes Tsouli, Waseem Mughal, and Tariq al-Daour, charged with various computer-related terrorism offences. The trial continues.

Meanwhile, it appeared that other judges had managed to master at least one basic digital skill - that of surfing for smut on their office computers.

The Times reports today that the Lord chancellor's Office for Judicial Complaints has been compelled to reveal that it is holding a secret list of judges who have been busted trolling the internet for smut.

"Secret list of porn judges 'does exist,'" trumpeted the paper.

Richard Thomas, the Information Commissioner, ruled that: “It is important for the public to know and be assured that the Lord Chancellor [now the Office for Judicial Complaints] thoroughly investigates each and every allegation of computer misuse by judges.”

The finding continued: “This knowledge of transparency would reinforce public confidence in the Lord Chancellor’s ability effectively to supervise the judiciary. A greater loss of confidence in the Lord Chancellor would arise from the public’s being ‘left in the dark’ on the true state of affairs.”

A ministry of justice spokesman confirmed that it did indeed have a list of judges disciplined for googling for filth, but wouldn't disclose any details.

Shame. It would have been nice to know what type of smut the judicial connoisseur goes for. Probably involves wigs, we're guessing.®

Build a business case: developing custom apps

More from The Register

next story
Arrr: Freetard-bothering Digital Economy Act tied up, thrown in the hold
Ministry of Fun confirms: Yes, we're busy doing nothing
Help yourself to anyone's photos FOR FREE, suggests UK.gov
Copyright law reforms will keep m'learned friends busy
Apple smacked with privacy sueball over Location Services
Class action launched on behalf of 100 million iPhone owners
US judge: YES, cops or feds so can slurp an ENTIRE Gmail account
Crooks don't have folders labelled 'drug records', opines NY beak
ONE EMAIL costs mining company $300 MEEELION
Environmental activist walks free after hoax sent share price over a cliff
UK government officially adopts Open Document Format
Microsoft insurgency fails, earns snarky remark from UK digital services head
You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary
And we shall go about telling people you smell. No, not really
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Seven Steps to Software Security
Seven practical steps you can begin to take today to secure your applications and prevent the damages a successful cyber-attack can cause.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.