Feeds

Steve Ballmer may have said something interesting; we couldn’t possibly comment...

A non-report from the third and final day of Microsoft’s BI conference

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

As a journalist, this is achingly tempting to believe but, before writing it, we thought we had better just check those boring old ‘fact’ things and so we asked Microsoft why it was banning the press. The response was that Microsoft would “like to focus on the fee paying attendees so that they value the event.”

Right. So that meant this was all about the feel-good factor for the attendees. Tell them the press was excluded and that this was for-their-eyes only. Wow. That’s going to work. Right up until the point where those 2,590 people work out for themselves that, for exactly the reasons outlined above, a secret shared with 2,590 computer-literate people is about as exclusive as shopping at Wal-Mart. I’d give that about eight seconds.

For some reason the keynote was delayed by an hour. We may not have been allowed to attend, but we circled outside the keynote, waiting to pick off attendees as they staggered out into the light. When they finally emerged, the story got even weirder. No secrets and no announcement that it was a ‘secret’ session. So, no feel-good factor. In turn, no feel-bad factor 8 seconds later, but then what was the point of the exercise?

We’re left with two alternatives. It is a conspiracy of some kind. Oh, so tempting but a conspiracy has to have a point. THEY have to have an ulterior motive. What? Where? How? We can’t see it.

The other possibility is that it is simply a mistake. Someone in Microsoft said “Let’s do the news on the first two days. Steve won’t be doing any so you’d better tell the journos not to bother waiting around for the keynote on the third day.” By a process of Chinese whispers that transmogrified into “Journalist are banned from Ballmer’s keynote.” Once the edict had been passed, too much face would have been lost in admitting the mistake so they ran with it.

So, ironically for a BI conference, Microsoft demonstrated Business without the Intelligence.

So, what can I tell you about Steve's keynote? One of the attendees, Eric Rydberg from EDS (not a journalist) gave me a detailed account. He said it was fine. Ballmer was quite energetic but not as pumped as he has been on occasions. No bouncing around on stage. He had some other guys up on stage. They talked. One was a bit boring. No great announcements. Others confirmed the story… Or lack of it.

So, the bad news is that you have had to sit and read this long and rambling account of how Microsoft managed to accidentally ban journalists from a keynote. It's a first in the history of technical conferences as far as I know. The good is that it is probably more exciting than the same number of words devoted to Ballmer being slightly interesting, a little bit bouncy and not announcing any news.

But ignoring all of that - was the conference good? It was fantastic. Microsoft may make mistakes but it does know how to put together an excellent conference. The speakers were good, the material was excellent. I was delighted to see several sessions’ ‘chalk and talks’ devoted to my favourite language, MDX. If you work in BI using Microsoft tools then you must attend the next one. And who knows, you may get to see some bloggers being brought to the ground by security guards, so bring a camera. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Android engineer: We DIDN'T copy Apple OR follow Samsung's orders
Veep testifies for Samsung during Apple patent trial
This time it's 'Personal': new Office 365 sub covers just two devices
Redmond also brings Office into Google's back yard
Batten down the hatches, Ubuntu 14.04 LTS due in TWO DAYS
Admins dab straining server brows in advance of Trusty Tahr's long-term support landing
Microsoft lobs pre-release Windows Phone 8.1 at devs who dare
App makers can load it before anyone else, but if they do they're stuck with it
Half of Twitter's 'active users' are SILENT STALKERS
Nearly 50% have NEVER tweeted a word
Windows XP still has 27 per cent market share on its deathbed
Windows 7 making some gains on XP Death Day
Internet-of-stuff startup dumps NoSQL for ... SQL?
NoSQL taste great at first but lacks proper nutrients, says startup cloud whiz
Windows 8.1, which you probably haven't upgraded to yet, ALREADY OBSOLETE
Pre-Update versions of new Windows version will no longer support patches
Microsoft TIER SMEAR changes app prices whether devs ask or not
Some go up, some go down, Redmond goes silent
Red Hat to ship RHEL 7 release candidate with a taste of container tech
Grab 'near-final' version of next Enterprise Linux next week
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a defence for mobile apps
In this whitepaper learn the various considerations for defending mobile applications; from the mobile application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies needed to properly assess mobile applications risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.