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Don't let Paris Hilton do bird

At least not in the slammer, gov

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It's a well-known fact that Paris Whitney Hilton sure knows how to drum up publicity on the internet.

No surprise then that in the blink of a false eyelash, over 11,000 people have already signed a petition to save the reality TV star, hotel heiress, and now convicted drunk-driver from serving 45 days in a Californian slammer.

The troubled Simple Life star has also posted a blog about the petition to save her from the over-friendly bosoms of fellow detainees on her MySpace page.

"My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn [sic] it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!"

Hilton was pulled over in her Bentley by Los Angeles cops along Sunset Boulevard earlier this year.

She was surprised to discover that having a 36-month suspended licence for a drink-driving offence that had been dished out to her in 2006 meant she shouldn't be driving at all. Funny that.

In fact, according to the Guardian, the star has a flunky who reads all her post, so the poor thing had no way of knowing and pleaded ignorance as her defence.

"I have people who do that for me," she said. "I just sign what people tell me to sign."

The judge, however, was having none of it, and threw the book at her.

But fans are pleading with Californian Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon the diminutive, doe-eyed, big-haired, head-in-the-five-star-clouds Hilton.

After all, she didn't "hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything", and shouldn't be treated as an "example" to kids about the dangers of being on the lash while behind the wheel, reads the petition; especially seeing as the likes of Mel Gibson and Busta Rhymes didn't serve a term for similar offences. Quite.

She's in good, deviant company too, with the petition comparing her plight to ex-president Nixon who was pardoned for his political misdemeanours - if it's good enough for him then it must be good enough for "our Paris", it reads.

Inevitably, however, it being the internet 'n all, a backlash has already kicked off with petitions which plead for the woman, named after the capital city of France and a warbling, drug-addled singer, to be thrown in jail.

Hilton, who apparently "provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives", is expected to be sporting stripy prison-issue pyjamas from 5 June this year. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

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