Feeds

Don't let Paris Hilton do bird

At least not in the slammer, gov

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

It's a well-known fact that Paris Whitney Hilton sure knows how to drum up publicity on the internet.

No surprise then that in the blink of a false eyelash, over 11,000 people have already signed a petition to save the reality TV star, hotel heiress, and now convicted drunk-driver from serving 45 days in a Californian slammer.

The troubled Simple Life star has also posted a blog about the petition to save her from the over-friendly bosoms of fellow detainees on her MySpace page.

"My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn [sic] it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!"

Hilton was pulled over in her Bentley by Los Angeles cops along Sunset Boulevard earlier this year.

She was surprised to discover that having a 36-month suspended licence for a drink-driving offence that had been dished out to her in 2006 meant she shouldn't be driving at all. Funny that.

In fact, according to the Guardian, the star has a flunky who reads all her post, so the poor thing had no way of knowing and pleaded ignorance as her defence.

"I have people who do that for me," she said. "I just sign what people tell me to sign."

The judge, however, was having none of it, and threw the book at her.

But fans are pleading with Californian Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon the diminutive, doe-eyed, big-haired, head-in-the-five-star-clouds Hilton.

After all, she didn't "hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything", and shouldn't be treated as an "example" to kids about the dangers of being on the lash while behind the wheel, reads the petition; especially seeing as the likes of Mel Gibson and Busta Rhymes didn't serve a term for similar offences. Quite.

She's in good, deviant company too, with the petition comparing her plight to ex-president Nixon who was pardoned for his political misdemeanours - if it's good enough for him then it must be good enough for "our Paris", it reads.

Inevitably, however, it being the internet 'n all, a backlash has already kicked off with petitions which plead for the woman, named after the capital city of France and a warbling, drug-addled singer, to be thrown in jail.

Hilton, who apparently "provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives", is expected to be sporting stripy prison-issue pyjamas from 5 June this year. ®

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence
Download Choosing a Cloud Hosting Provider with Confidence to learn more about cloud computing - the new opportunities and new security challenges.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.