Feeds

Gutsy eBayer touts 'Royal Marine surrender kit'

Just as commandos return en masse from Afghanistan. Oops

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

An unidentified eBay seller is using the online tat bazaar to mount a web publicity campaign against the Royal Marines.

"Blackoperation" has a home-produced "Royal Marines surrender kit" up for auction, consisting of "one white flag, plasty cuffs (enough for 15), hessian blind fold, an aid memoir and comes complete with its own dpm pouch so you can have it attached to your webbing at all times".

The aid memoir (sic) reads as follows:

1 Actions on sighting enemy gun boat, place all weapons on the deck.

2 Calmly raise both hands into the air.

3 Reach into the Royal Marines surrender pouch and withdraw the issue white flag.

4 Then take out the issued plasty cuffs as the enemy wont be expecting the sudden surrender without a fight. last thing we want to do is antagonize them!

5 Blame the female for the navigation error.

6 Once encamped in enemy POW camp use the issue pen & notepad to start recording your experience`s for the big payout from the press on release!"

Blackoperation alludes not only to the recent unfortunate events off the Shatt al Arab waterway, but harks back to the capture of the original Falklands garrison in 1982. The marines and sailors of Naval Party 8901 surrendered to overwhelming Argentine invasion forces on the orders of Governor Rex Hunt after what is usually seen as quite a spirited defence - including, according to the British account, the taking of several Argentine prisoners before fortunes were reversed.

But Blackoperation seems to feel that inadequate backbone was exhibited.

"The RM issue flag has been tried and tested in multiple theatres of operations from the Falklands to Iran, it measures 6" X 10" and can easily be seen from at least 1000 metres in open water," he says, adding "remember 99% need not bid!" - no doubt a reference to the marines' recent recruiting slogan.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Blackoperation shows signs of Army affiliations, stating that all "procedes" (sic) of the auction will go to the Army Benevolent Fund. The humourous tat-monger is clearly no coward himself, as he also lists for sale a three-piece suite for collection from - presumably - his own home. Given the sometimes rather physical tendency of the Royal Marines' sense of humour, this could be seen as rather brave.

Particularly as 3 Commando Brigade, almost the entire fighting strength of the Corps of Royal Marines, is currently returning to the UK after six months' combat in southern Afghanistan. ®

Lewis Page is a former naval officer and commando.

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.