Fifty foot Michael Jackson robot to stalk Vegas

Lasers, cyborg army, the whole bit

Michael Jackson is considering the construction of a 50 foot robot replica of himself, it has been reported. The idea is for the droid colossus to promote concerts Jackson might give in Las Vegas.

"It would be in the desert sands," Mike Luckman of Luckman Van Pier, a consultant company to large entertainment firms, told the New York Daily News. "Laser beams would shoot out of it...Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them."

Luckman Van Pier says it is also planning "a giant audience-interactive video game with human cyborgs", for use during Vegas shows featuring the occasionally-troubled megastar.

The potential implications of these plans are quite literally staggering. Now that Jacko is tooling up with laser-toting battle-mechs and a cyborg army – the Vegas show is clearly no more than a flimsy cover story – it surely can't be long until other stars follow suit. It can only be a matter of time until news of the Ozzy-bot breaks.

If every singer has a 50 foot mechanised alter ego, the implications are terrifying. Imagine the havoc on the nation's highways as they attempt to hoover up the white lines, while throwing tantrums because some flunky didn't take all the yellow ones out of their bowl of weather balloon-sized M&Ms.

Have no fear though. El Reg's technical experts are working on a possible solution, which will probably involve a 50 foot genetically-enhanced pair of blond groupie twins.®

Sponsored: How to determine if cloud backup is right for your servers