Feeds

Fifty foot Michael Jackson robot to stalk Vegas

Lasers, cyborg army, the whole bit

Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management

Michael Jackson is considering the construction of a 50 foot robot replica of himself, it has been reported. The idea is for the droid colossus to promote concerts Jackson might give in Las Vegas.

"It would be in the desert sands," Mike Luckman of Luckman Van Pier, a consultant company to large entertainment firms, told the New York Daily News. "Laser beams would shoot out of it...Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them."

Luckman Van Pier says it is also planning "a giant audience-interactive video game with human cyborgs", for use during Vegas shows featuring the occasionally-troubled megastar.

The potential implications of these plans are quite literally staggering. Now that Jacko is tooling up with laser-toting battle-mechs and a cyborg army – the Vegas show is clearly no more than a flimsy cover story – it surely can't be long until other stars follow suit. It can only be a matter of time until news of the Ozzy-bot breaks.

If every singer has a 50 foot mechanised alter ego, the implications are terrifying. Imagine the havoc on the nation's highways as they attempt to hoover up the white lines, while throwing tantrums because some flunky didn't take all the yellow ones out of their bowl of weather balloon-sized M&Ms.

Have no fear though. El Reg's technical experts are working on a possible solution, which will probably involve a 50 foot genetically-enhanced pair of blond groupie twins.®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.