Feeds

Vote now for your fave Reg headline

Stiff competition for 'Black Cocks' title

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

Poll Well, you've had plenty of time to nominate your all-time fave Reg headline in our "Black Cocks" awards and the time has come for you, our beloved readers, to decide the winner.

First up though, our goodie bag goes to Sven, who most closely predicted the top picks. We had so many suggestions that we decided to offer 20 alternatives, but excluded the shameless "NZ finds Black Cocks hard to swallow" since the awards' title clearly offered this an advantage.

So, without further ado, here are your nominations for the best-ever Reg headline:

Virgin goes down on clients
Droopy hardware makes bankers flaccid
(1 August 2000)

Come on punk, spoil my day
Intel and AMD piss on each other's chips
(6 November 2000)

Woman gets mobile phone stuck up back orifice
Ring my ring game goes horribly wrong
(14 February 2001)

My Internet love is a corpse-hoarding granny
The dangers of online dating were never so clear
(22 February 2001)

Buy an Entrepreneur Wife on eBay
Wife auction goes titsup
(14 December 2001)

Man burns penis with laptop
Yes, yes, but what make?
(22 November 2002)

Oktoberfest nurse in fairground porn shoot outrage
'Sociological experiment' ends in the cells
(27 September 2005)

God fails to save idiot in lion enclosure
Dutch heron drowns bunny - World Cup omen?
(11 June 2006)

Welshman in 12 pint cider binge goat death ride
Kid-napping ends in tragedy
(10 August 2006)

Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog
Sonic pin ball
(15 September 2006)

HP's CEO: 'I'm so sorry' that this got out
Dunny flushed
(22 September 2006)

Mobile snap nails dog sex man
Wife catches hubby with pit bull terrier
(23 October 2006)

Psychedelic toad licking dog in rehab
Owners tell of amphibian addiction hell
(30 October 2006)

Underpaid aliens bond over donkey sex
Collision mangles Bugatti, vapourises planet
(6 March 2007)

New Yorkers get an eyeful of beaver
It's been a while
(23 Feb 2007)

Yahoo! red-faced! over! curry! blog! ripoff!
Blames its out-saucer
(9 March 2007)

Rare flaw sighted in OpenBSD kernel
Thar she overflows
(15 March 2007)

Plastic surgeon sucks out belly dancer's buttock
£12,000 damages for half-arsed liposuction
(16 March 2007)

The SANS of Mars
Imaging the Red Planet at 2GB a time
(23 March 2007)

Image spam fattens junk mail
Does my bum look big in this?
(26 March 2007)

Top three mobile application threats

More from The Register

next story
Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it
Fondleslab-friendly beastie's wake spotted... OR WAS IT?
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet
UAVs likely to have been made in the Middle Kingdom
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga
Maintains he didn't create cryptocurrency, but will join community
Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses
AgencyGlass saddles user with creepy OLED display
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
prev story

Whitepapers

Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.