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Elton John free to menace Tobago

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Sir Elton John will appear at next month's Plymouth Jazz Festival on the Caribbean island of Tobago, despite local church objections that his presence on the sun-kissed Caribbean island might turn the entire population gay.

Archdeacon Philip Isaac recently warned: "His visit can open the country to be tempted towards pursuing his lifestyle. He needs to be ministered to." According the the BBC, pastor Terrance Baynes added there were some residents "who may not be sure of their sexuality", and therefore "one has to be careful about how this can create impressions on impressionable minds".

Festival organiser Anthony Maharaj countered: "He is coming as one of the world's greatest performers - not to preach about what lifestyle people should have."

Amnesty International weighed in with: "People have a right to be who they are, free from persecution, whether they're a pop star or a roadsweeper. Discrimination against gay people is completely prohibited by international human rights law,"

Mercifully, Tobago's House of Assembly agreed, and Sir Elton is now free to work his special kind of magic on the locals. ®

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