Feeds

Denise Van Outen ordered to get Joss Stoned

Lose the Brit accent, say US TV bosses

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

US TV bosses have instructed Denise Van Outen to do a Joss Stone and lose her Brit accent - because audiences over the pond have not warmed to her chirpy Essex twang.

Van Outen, 32, was signed to present Grease, "a reality show which is aiming to find a new cast to play the characters from the hit Seventies movie", the Evening Standard notes. Sadly, the Basildon girl has suffered a slight speech impediment in that Yanks don't understand her accent.

A source told the Standard: "The producers thought Denise would be immensely popular with the American public, but unfortunately, it hasn't worked out. She is a very attractive girl and has years and years of television experience. That, along with her English accent, meant that she should have been a hit in the States... but they aren't keen on her voice.

"She has made her career over here on the fact she is a down-to-earth Essex girl, but they just don't get it in America. They are not keen on her demeanour either."

Accordingly, she's been downgraded from main presenter to "roving reporter" and sent off for some Eliza Doolittle-style therapy. Poor old Denise described Los Angeles as "really unforgiving place", adding: "I will not lie - it has been hard. I went out there on my own. I felt really, really out of place. I didn't know anyone. I didn't understand the city."

Bless. The old timers among you may remember the kerfuffle over UK gangster classic The Long Good Friday, which the American distributors apparently wanted to dub because nobody over there understood a bleedin' word of what was going on. Mercifully, good sense prevailed, preventing what Harold Shand would doubtless have called a "diabolical liberty". ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
5 critical considerations for enterprise cloud backup
Key considerations when evaluating cloud backup solutions to ensure adequate protection security and availability of enterprise data.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.