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After receiving liposuction

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Another harmless menace to society, at least the society of Tobago, is Elton John, who was banned from performing a forthcoming gig on the Caribbean island for fears he could turn the whole place gay:

Interestingly the quote from the Archdeacon condems his lifestyle, while I think that this probably means his homosexuallity, I can see why many religeous types, myself included, may find other aspects of his lifestile offensive. The tantrums, the conspicuous consumption, the jetting off round the world without caring a toss for the environment, the 'look at me I'm giving to charity' way that he seems to do his charitable work, the way he seems to go out of his way to wind up relligeous people (I saw him interviewd in the same chat show as Moby, sticking up for Emenem, of all people, who Moby had previously criticised, then talking about how he liked to shred bibles.) etc. etc.

Having said that, if you have a music festival you've got to expect a certain amount of sex and drugs and rock and roll and he did tick all of those boxes at one point or another in his life.


It's funny how when a religious zealot wears a turban or sports an AK47, the industrialized nations call him "integrist" or "terrorist", but when an integrist foaming at the mouth with Dark Ages zealotry wears the robes of a well-known and highly-respected religion of our parts, then all thoughts of integrism are stuffed into a dark hole and forbidden from entering the media, much less our minds.

There is a country today with WMDs by the thousands that can reach across the planet, and a military force that none dare challenge. That country has appointed as its leader a madman who sees things that aren't there and has publicly declared that he speaks with his God. I wonder how long he would have stayed in office if he had worn a turban ?

Moreover, given that the Roman Catholic Church is supposed to base its faith on the words of Jesus, whose most important teaching commands tolerance and care, how is it that said Church can continue to promote intolerance and hostility toward a part of the human population without anybody taking it by the collar and saying "that's enough already"?

All this intolerance is all the more intolerable given that the Roman Catholic Church is the privileged home of an ever-increasing number of child molesters. So it's all right to rape a kid, but it's Hell if you love a consenting adult that happens to be of the same sex? I'm not homosexual myself, but the mind boggles with such contradictions. Pascal.


I was stopped from entering Tobago, lest I turned everyone I met into a 6'3" 15 stone beer-guzzling curry-swilling flippant fecker.

As a confirmed heterosexual, and a fan of Elton John's music, I am moved to wonder what makes the Archdeacon believe that listening to the gentle strains of "Candle in the Wind" would impel anyone who is not already a bit swish to buggery.

Oh, wait. He's a cleric. Repressed homoerotic urges are de rigeur (pardon my spelling, if need be) for those people, aren't they? I suppose his self-restraint is teetering on the edge of the abyss.


A BA passenger was also teetering on the abyss after a corpse was upgraded from economy to first class and ended up sitting next to him after the lady's untimely death just after takeoff.

So THAT'S how you get upgraded to first class then. You have to sacrifice a family member to the dark gods in an airborne ritual. I guess that'll only work so many times before you run out of family members though. Then what? Insincerely, Arah Leonard

Its interesting isn't it, airlines will happily ground or divert aircraft for such trivial matters as ringing mobile phones, missing passengers, etc. But when someone dies onboard, they won't divert. Also, people spend the extra money in first class for privacy and quiet. Unfortunately, the "all rights end when you board" policy of airliners does not put you in any position to complain or anything.

I've noticed that standard of service you get from BA deteriorating rapidly in recent years. Despite the fact that the frequent flyer programme is worthless, I'm seriously considering Virgin for transatlantic flights in the future.


'maneovering a corpse'? I am not sure what 'maneovering' is or whether doing to a corpse is entirely legal! I think we should be told...Is it like a makeover for hair?

One makeover went horribly wrong when a plastic surgeon, performing liposuction on the "saddle bags" of a belly dancer, went OTT on the suction and mistakenly hovered out the woman's right buttock:

Come on Cleopatra! ... why sue the doctor? Can't you just 'Turn the Other Cheek'?

A cracking joke.


And that's where we'll leave it. More of your musings, right here on Friday. ®

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