Joss Stone pays price for Brits train crash
'Ludicrous American drawl' hits album sales
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Joss Stone is apparently paying the price for her sensational appearance at this year's Brits, at which she adopted an inexplicable US accent and alienated just about everyone in the UK.
According to Brit tabloid The Sun, this and other recent outrages have left her latest album Introducing Joss Stone wallowing at No 12 in the midweek charts "because British fans have shown her the door".
The Sun explains just how Stone - who "left for America a few years ago as an innocent Devon schoolgirl - and returned a crazed Yankee diva with a dodgy red perm" - added to the woes provoked by her "ludicrous American drawl".
She subsequently appeared on Chris Moyles' radio show and "alienated her hard-working fans by moaning about life as a multi-millionairess". In another interview, she boasted about puffing cannabis and then got booed off stage at a London gig after keeping fans waiting for over two hours.
Accordingly, her album is taking a pasting from X Factor loser Ben Mills who's "sold nearly twice as many copies with his album Picture Of You". It's also getting a "stuffing" from Simply Red's Stay. As The Sun puts it: "When you lose to Mick Hucknall in a popularity contest you know it's time to pack your bags." ®
COMMENTS
Sad provincialism
I enjoy a good celeb-roasting as much as the next reader, but this article is just bizarre. Do you think that accents are genetic? Or perhaps imprinted at birth? Everybody picks up their accent from those around them, and many people who spend a long time abroad migrate towards the local accent. I've lived in the US for over a decade, and now my British friends think I sound very American. My American friends, on the other hand, tell me I "have hardly any accent at all" -- although inexplicably they think this is a compliment. It would be more suprising if Joss and Sheena didn't have a blend of their native and adopted home's accents. Less explicable, however, is Madonna's odd pseudo-British accent, picked up after just a few weeks in London....
Are you sure it's not WAS?
As a fellow sufferer from Wandering Accent Syndrome, I can't help but sympathise with the Devonian Diva. Wandering Accent Syndrome (WAS) is a distressing condition caused by close proximity to Americans. A few days in their presence and I develop a noticeable TransAtlantic twang. Give me a week and I could pass for a local, left unchecked I might even forget how to pronounce the last letter of the alphabet.
I'm led to believe that the only cure lies in sending me very large amounts of money. (My colleagues contend the cure involves 'a big stick wiv a nail in the end'). Please send your generous donations to the usual address.
Y'all have a good day now y'hear?
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