Feeds

House hunting? Beware the Grim Reaper

Death stalks UK property website

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

Anyone who's ever sold a house knows there are a few tricks designed to entice buyers to part with their cash. For one, first appearences count, so move that dismantled Ford Cortina from the front garden. Second up, most buying decisions are made by women*, so make sure the kitchen and bathroom are 100 per cent. Thirdly, work to create a homely atmosphere - the smell of freshly baked bread is reckoned to do the trick.

The Grim Reaper visits a Bedfordshire living roomThere are few absolute no-nos, too. The smell of animals is reckoned to be a turn-off for potential buyers, as are strong colours and quirky individual modifications, such as converting your flat into the Starship Enterprise. Accordingly, we think the sellers of one Bedfordshire desres (seen here) might want to rethink just what kind of welcome they're offering to visitors.

Yes indeed, we can image the conversation: "Well, the curtains are lovely, and I do like a real coal-effect fire, but I'm not sure granny will be too happy settling down with a nice cup of tea to watch Richard & Judy with the Grim Reaper impatiently tapping his foot in the corner. Would you be willing to negotiate on price?" ®

And before you cry foul...

*I can back up this assertion with personal experience. A few years back, me and the missus were looking at a few properties. One highly-desirable terrace property at a knock-down price was rejected due to the colour of the bathroom suite (avocado, for the record), while a dingy flat in an area closely resembling Beirut, but considerably more dangerous, was voted dream home on account of an admittedly impressive beech kitchen worktop.

In the end, a United Nations peacekeeping force moved in and we were able to negotiate a compromise: stay where we were and never, ever go househunting again.

Bootnote

Thanks to Duncan Reid for the tip-off.

Top three mobile application threats

More from The Register

next story
Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it
Fondleslab-friendly beastie's wake spotted... OR WAS IT?
Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses
AgencyGlass saddles user with creepy OLED display
Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet
UAVs likely to have been made in the Middle Kingdom
Pirate Bay's 10 millionth upload: Colour us shocked, a SMUT FLICK
P2P badboys show online piracy is alive and humping
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga
Maintains he didn't create cryptocurrency, but will join community
Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her
Charged with introducing .22 snubbie to penile facility. It wasn't firing blanks
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.