Feeds

Aliens shun GM crops

Lizards love organic

Build a business case: developing custom apps

The reason why visiting aliens tend to abduct American citizens but only trample on corn fields in Europe has been blamed on genetically modified crops.

It seems the grey lizards are worried about carrying contaminated genetic material back to their own worlds. Aliens are avoiding creating crop circles in fields containing GM crops. A five year study of crop circles found none appeared in fields containing GM crops.

The research work was carried out by Buck Uranus - and it's got to be true with a name like that, right? Mr Uranus is funded by the William H Carpenter Foundation which, like Mr Uranus, has managed to evade Google.

Luckily for seekers of the truth Mr Uranus has not only carried out detailed research into the crop circles but also talks to the aliens.

Uranus explained: "In my spare time I channel messages from alien beings...these guys have serious reservations about what we're doing down here. One even told me he's even thinking of using another planet for his artwork."

A Gray Lizard told Uranus: "Just imagine — we accidentally pick up a few seeds on our undercarriage and take them home without knowing. They could spread like wildfire then and we'd end up paying Monsanto an annual fee just to grow flooble beans on our own planet. Madness."

There's more on the Weekly World Inquisitor here.

Anyone shopping at farmer's markets this weekend should watch out for other shoppers with scaly, grey skin and forked tongues.

Securing Web Applications Made Simple and Scalable

More from The Register

next story
World Solar Challenge contender claims new speed record
One charge sees Sunswift travel 500kms at over 100 km/h
SMELL YOU LATER, LOSERS – Dumbo tells rats, dogs... humans
Junk in the trunk? That's what people have
The Sun took a day off last week and made NO sunspots
Someone needs to get that lazy star cooking again before things get cold around here
Boffins discuss AI space program at hush-hush IARPA confab
IBM, MIT, plenty of others invited to fill Uncle Sam's spy toolchest, but where's Google?
Bad back? Show some spine and stop popping paracetamol
Study finds common pain-killer doesn't reduce pain or shorten recovery
Forty-five years ago: FOOTPRINTS FOUND ON MOON
NASA won't be back any time soon, sadly
Jurassic squawk: Dinos were Earth's early FEATHERED friends
Boffins research: Ancient dinos may all have had 'potential' fluff
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Seven Steps to Software Security
Seven practical steps you can begin to take today to secure your applications and prevent the damages a successful cyber-attack can cause.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.