Reg hacks scorched in nuclear flame blitz
'You are such an anti-semitic turd'
FoTW Regular readers will be aware of the Vulture Central tradition which dicates that you're not a fully-fledged Reg hack until you've been subjected to a vicious outburst of e-anger from some reader with steam coming out of his or her ears.
Well, we're delighted to report that Bill Ray this week passed this milestone in fine style. The flame in question is regarding a pretty inoffensive piece on GameJump.com - a website apparently offering free mobile games. Not so, thunders "fatty p":
see you mate you are a rit wanker pricks like you need a slap round the head say that games are free and they anit even fucking free
Well, according to a visibly-shaken Bill Ray, there are free games down at GameJump.com, so quite what this is all about is anyone's guess.
But while I was chuckling to myself as poor old Bill locked himself in a darkened room with a litre of strong liquor, reader "Mikey" was preparing a nuclear counterstrike to my analysis of Israel's 2007 Eurovision Song Contest entry:
Mate - you are such an anti-semitic turd, you have no idea of Middle East politics and frankly you need to get a life. Make sure you are better informed before you post crap on a high quality site. I will be taking action to have your pitiful comments removed.
Accordingly, both myself and Mr Ray have hidden ourselves in the cupboard under the stairs until we are officially informed it is safe to come out, or until the bottle of Scotch runs out - whichever comes first. ®
Something is wrong
There is something deeply disturbing about the second flame and that is I cannot envisage him sitting there, spittle flying, swigging clear fluid from bottle standing next to purple bread while furiously issuing the standard impotent "I will have you comments removed". His typing almost suggests he is capable of lucdid thought, but this is belied by the content.
The other bloke is either trying to take the mickey or was rejected by his fellow chavs as being too intelligent, I.E. having an IQ above 50.
If you're going to be there for a while....
Surely you lads would be better getting the full works installed down there - I'm sure some plumbed in beer and some optics would be well used on the "odd" occasion you guys get flamed ;)
Rage of the Impotent
I'd think the grammar and spelling of the second are too consistent (and even English) to be an acceptable FotW. The last line makes it extra funny; reminds me of http://Attrition.org/postal and specifically the `wrath of the impotent' section. Yet this threat is so toothless.
That being said, sue the bastards, for slander or whatever. This common internet writing style has being taken up as `normal style for asking things to your neighbours', by several (financially successful) people in my appartment --- my favourite was a note ending "For F***'s Sake, RESPECT!" as an opening note about a (alledgedly in-)correctly parked car.