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We will, we will solution you!

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Letters Now and again, we at Vulture Towers feel it is our honour bound duty to purge the English language of offending little dittys that get up your noses.

And so you have spoken. That nasty little scrubber "solution" has been duly banished to the place where bad words go. Reg archives are being cleansed as we speak.

Why? Read on for enlightenment:

Oh god! Please ban "solution" immediately! My manager told me that our offshoring partner in Delhi had a team-building exercise a couple of years ago and the participants had to create a team song.

Sung to the tune of We Will Rock You:

We will, We will solution you!

Good god have mercy!

Indeed.


"Solution"? Bin it. And bin "bespoke/turnkey offering" whilst the lid's up.

"Should the word 'solution' be beaten down and banished from business forever?"

A great example of this is at Tesco, in the aisle where lazy developers go to get their tea when they can't be bothered cooking. There's a sign above the ready-made pasta-type meals, saying "Italian Meal Solutions".

Robin


Re:Banning solutions

The whole "solutions" thing is old hat (Private Eye has been running their solutions column for months now). I was more impressed when I walked into a branch of Lakeland and saw a set of shelves marked "Kitchen ideas". Looked more like saucepans to me.

Oliver.


re: Should the word 'solution' be beaten down and banished from business forever?

If (as my old man used to tell me when I was a lad) there really is no problem without a solution, then it follows that banishing solutions will deal a swift kick in the knackers to problems left right and centre... Not only would I get to finish work on time every day, but as an added bonus but the much loved strategy-boutique and its accompanying legion of celebrity-sherbert-tooting nutjobs may well find itself out of business in pretty short order.

Rgds,

Tim


Regarding use of the word 'solution', I think it's quite appropriate if you consider it from a chemical context. This is where you take something with a regular and fairly solid structure (a crystal of some sort) and you dissolve it in water (or something else) and end up with a very fluid, chaotic mess with no structure at all. Sounds like a solution to me.

> Should the word "solutions" be banned?

Yes! It definitely should!

It gives a sense of stupidity to anything that wears it and is unrelated to a chemical (di)solution or something that has been indeed solved.

Why is a Program a "solution"? It doesn't solve anything, it _runs_, it works, it does things, somethimes solves something and sometimes not... why the heck is it called "solution" then?

Why is a crappy VB application called "solution"? Just to hide that is a crappy app programmed in a cheap language?

I really, really hat this word.

Bannish it from the IT dictionary!

-- Regards Enric Martinez

Fear not. It has been erased from the IT lexicon. We hat it too.


Tony "I don't use a computer" Blair sent an email to the 1.8 million road tax petition signatories explaining the reasons behind the proposal. Reasons you splutter?

Sir,

Were I Prime Minister, seeking to explain my views to 1.8 million people, I would be ashamed to allow my name to be attached to a text of such quality.

Y.H.O.S

David Bell, O-level English Language 1973


My reply to Tonys spam;

An open letter.

My tax's have already paid for road to be built and maintained. How dare they think of using yet another punitive tax measure to discourage behavior. Instead of attempting to solve this issue with a ill thought out grand gesture, they should be fixing the smaller problems that are causing the problem in the first place.

By using tax breaks and incentives to promote positive behavior and greener alternatives. But this is labour we are talking about, and they need Peter’s money to pay for Paul’s votes.

By making public transport far better, cheeper, and more efficient. If the alternatives where there, working, and better than using cars in the first place, the problem would be far smaller than they have let it become.

There are about 2 million illegal cars on the road. With out them, congestion would be far less. Indecently the reason that there are so many illegal cars is labour’s fault anyway, because they have increased the cost of living to just a degree that far more people cannot afford to keep a legal car.

Better and dedicated cycle lanes. I would love the opportunity to cycle to work.

And a host of other idea that in themselves won’t solve the problem, but will contribute in part.

Yours in utter disgust with Tony, Gordon, and Labour,

Robert Goldwing


And while we're on the topic of thumbing noses, the Cuban government has done just that to Microsoft, by opting for open source instead.

I thought the US embargo on Cuba prevented them from buying Microsoft products anyway... ? Isn't that what one of the points in the lengthy Windows EULA reads?

hi, Cuba isn't the only government going open source; I was delighted to see that the pm's 'Road Pricing' emails (well mine anyway) are being pumped out by a FreeBSD Server!

AndyD 8-)#

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

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