Feeds

eBayer buys penis pump, ditches Ferrari

Effects of fast cars overinflated?

High performance access to file storage

One eBayer seems to have provided proof of something most chaps have long suspected: that acquiring a big, red shiny car which goes very fast does not in fact make your penis bigger.

Try this (unsuccessful) auction of a 1984 Ferrari Testarossa - an automobile which some say can, in addition to adding 100mph to your top speed, extend your todger by three inches at the turn of the ignition key.

Apparently not, sadly, because have a look at the vendor's last purchase: a Titan Enlarger Penis Pump.

The tech specs are impressive enough: High quality clear acrylic cylinder; Comfortable grip design; High quality pressure gauge; Clear flexible hose. The vendor did, however, have the good sense to add:

Some Men swear by the use of pumps as effective tools for increasing size while others think pumps have no lasting effect. Pumps can extend length while using, but the question is, "Will the penis return to original size after using?" Unfortunately, we do not have that answer and can not guarantee or be responsible for any results.

The same caveat, it appears, could be applied to Ferraris. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Alan Potter for the tip-off.

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.