Feeds

Dell saves nation from bird flu

Don't panic!

Remote control for virtualized desktops

It's been a difficult week in the UK - a letter bomber with no staying power, alleged terrorists arrested, strange white stuff falling from the sky and destroying rail and tube networks, and the arrival of the dreaded bird 'flu on a turkey farm in Suffolk.

Fortunately, help is at hand. We received the following round-robin email sent to members of Dell staff in sunny Bracknell from Facilities Management:

"We are keenly focused on the health and safety of our team and take action whenever we believe either of these is being compromised."

Well, so far so good, but the message then disappears into the densest marketing speak and paranoia:

"Following the recent bird flu outbreak on a farm in Suffolk, our cross-functional Dell EMEA taskforce has been monitoring the situation and is ready to respond to any change in status. If new information presents itself that affects our team, operations or customers, you will be updated via e-mail, the Bracknell Bulletin and/or EMEA E News."

Thank God for that. Your desktop computers are safe and Dell's cross-functional EMEA taskforce is on the case. The message continues with advice on not stuffing dead turkeys behind your monitor, washing your hands and "by having enough cold and flu supplies in your home in advance".

Thankfully, the cross-functional taskforce is not just sending out insane emails. "As further precautionary measures, the Facilities team in Bracknell have today provided telephone sanitizing wipes for each team member to use as they feel necessary. Further supplies can be obtained by contacting Facilities. In addition, a number of sanitizers will be going up in communal areas, for example the canteen and the smokers area."

Dell has been criticised recently for a lack of focus, but this email shows that it's keeping its eyes on the big picture. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to the Reg reader who requested anonymity for forwarding on the email.

Remote control for virtualized desktops

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Go beyond APM with real-time IT operations analytics
How IT operations teams can harness the wealth of wire data already flowing through their environment for real-time operational intelligence.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Why CIOs should rethink endpoint data protection in the age of mobility
Assessing trends in data protection, specifically with respect to mobile devices, BYOD, and remote employees.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Seattle children’s accelerates Citrix login times by 500% with cross-tier insight
Seattle Children’s is a leading research hospital with a large and growing Citrix XenDesktop deployment. See how they used ExtraHop to accelerate launch times.