Well, Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and we're delighted to announce that Radio RTFM has set up a Vulture Central House of Luuurv voice message board giving lonely listeners the chance to connect with like-minded social inadequates.

This month's sonic discharge features full details of the service plus selected messages already left on our ansafone. So, if you're looking for a 25-year-old Libran who wants to potentialize her multiple synergies, a noted UK space boffin seeking a permanant dock with a nice country girl or fancy taking a bite out of Jade's juicy kebab, then this is the place for you.

Futher items for your listening pleasure include a US demonstration of exactly how to execute a man with dignity and your views on Vista - described by breathless analysts as "hotter than a blast furnace packed with Sony laptop batteries".

Oh yes, and there's lots and lots of plugs for Apple's iPhone, the recent announcement of which we describe as "second only to the first coming of Christ". Enough said.

You can download the full episode here, or hit the player below for instant gratification.

Please note that RTFM is most certainly NSFW.

Episode 3 in all its glory

And when you've recovered from that, you can get your favourite bits in bite-sized portions below:

• Dying with dignity
• The London cabbie
• Happy Valentines
• Vista: the people have spoken

Credits

• Writer/director: Lester Haines
• Logistical support: Phil "Philipe" Mitchell (VP of Thrust, Synergy and Evolution, El Reg Strategy Boutique)
• Voice artists: Hils Barker and Silas Hawkins
• Sound technician: Phil Corran at Cut Glass Studios

Archive

• Radio RTFM Episode 1
• Radio RTFM Episode 2

RSS feeds

Point your news aggregator in the direction of our Radio RTFM RSS feeds as follows: www.theregister.co.uk/odds/rtfm/headlines.rss and www.theregister.com/odds/rtfm/headlines.rss. You'll get the latest episode delivered straight to your doorstep as an enclosure.