Feeds

Net wags pile into Jade Goody

Big Brother housemate crucified online

Security for virtualized datacentres

NSFW With a certain terrible inevitability, internet wags have wasted no time making plain their opinion of Celebrity Big Brother contestant Jade Goody - currently making press worldwide for her alleged racist treatment of Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty.

For starters, try Jade's MySpace page, packed with fascinating insights:

SORRY EVERYONE I CAN'T STOP - I'M IN THE CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER HOUSE DESTROYING MY CAREER BY BEING A DUMB RACIST FUCK. WISH ME LUCK! to all the people going on about my Marathon - I did honestly train for weeks before it - honestly - and I hardly did anything like Chinese Takeaways, Curries, Drinking or smoking.Plus, I jogged loads and the only time I had a treat like a Chinese the press took photos. Like I said, I didnt know what miles were and nobody bothered telling me, so that was why I had to give up. Loads of people have given up as well as me so I don't see why I should get all the blame. ANYWAYS AT LEAST I DIDNT GO TO THE TOILET IN ME PANTS LIKE THAT DIRTY ROTTEn PAULINE RATCLIFFE - MINGER! My book is doing really well. I didnt write it but all the stories are true and yeah I've had a hard life but at least my storie proofs if you can do it anyone can do it.

"Jade" adds:

I'd like to meet any philostorical caracter from history - maybe they could teach me to be brainy (hahaha) so I think maybe Jesus, Winston Mandela, Steinstein and that wheelchair bloke (not Superman ) would all be definitly worth talking to. And eskimos. And I love Enoch Powell.

Jade Goody and palsDown at JadeGoodyOnline.com, meanwhile, the fan forums are packed with praise for the battling Brit, including this post entitled "I just want to say about Jade Goody she is amazing":

When I got anorexxia last yeer she helped me froo it and for that I is tocally greatfull.

I lost my Mum as well last yeer, in Tescos, but fownd her agen cos of Jades strengf and dignitty. She was by the tampax aisle. Should have nown, she love fanny rags my Mum.

God bless jade and dont let the white b*stards get you down Shilpa

And in case you're wondering what the picture on the above is all about, we should explain it's of Jade "posing with fans at the Oxford launch of her new piss in a bottle range..." More here.

We'd like to say at this point that we at Vulture Central in no way condone this kind of behaviour, and urge netizens to show tolerance and constraint until a proper show trial and Iranian-style execution (Celebrity Come Dance the Tyburn Jig - live on Channel 4, Saturday, 9pm) can be arranged. ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.