The ins and outs of a Second sex Life

You call that Xciting?

Column One of my girlfriends is so funny. She says to me, "I joined Second Life to admire the architecture, but I started cybering within twenty minutes of arriving. That was months ago, and I still haven't seen more than a handful of the buildings".

Whatever brings you to SL, you'll soon find that sex is everywhere. You'll be curious, and prolly tempted to jump in right away, and I bet you'll be surprised by what it's like in this strange virtual environment.

Destiny Welles

Now, I'm an IRC junkie from way back, so I know a thing or two about cybering, believe me. But in Second Life, there's more, like animated visuals, some of which are quite pornographic, I can tell you. The basic idea is like IRC: you chat your way through it and use your imagination. But SL adds another dimension where you and your partner (or partners, lol) can animate your avatars, and watch them do exactly what your imagining. This might strike you as the holy Grail of cybersex, but stay with me here: it's not all that.

How it works is simple: there are scripts embedded in objects, usually coloured spheres. Residents call them "pose balls." Blue is for boys, and pink is for girls, hehe. (But it's OK if you're both the same sex; they can be adjusted easily.) You can buy them at many of the shops; in fact, you can buy whole kits, like a bed with an entire menu of animations.

If you haven't got any Lindens, there are many places rated "mature" where you'll find beds and pose balls all over the place. You'll have to do your thing in public, which is not my cup of tea - and be sure you don't start experimenting with the pose balls on your own. People will just walk up to you and grab the companion ball, thinking that your offering yourself up to anyone! So bring a friend when you go exploring the public sex places, and when u try a pose ball, make sure they try the companion one right away. Otherwise you might find yourself knockin boots with a furry or a smurf, or worse, getting raped by someone unattractive, lol!

This is a pretty sad way to have cybersex, I think. Doing it in public is gross; but a lot of ppl do, so I guess I'm in the minority there. I find it coarse, and thank god my bf Max has a big property where we can really relax and concentrate on the business "at hand", hehe.

Not too Xcited

Besides the public sex being totally gross and anonymous, I have another complaint to tell u about. Theres a company called Xcite that makes most of the sex animations and sex gadgets in SL. Well, I find that diddling around with all these poses and toys distracts me from the real cybersex that's happening in chat. It breaks my concentration, and spoils the natural flow of the fantasy that me and my partners are creating.

Even worse than that, Xcite lets you post scripted sex talk in the chat! Can you imagine anything more disappointing? Canned sex talk? Not for me, thank you very much. I put a lot of thought and energy into my sexual fantasies; If a partner can't be bothered to talk to me properly, from their own heart and imagination, then it's over b4 it begins. I think this Xcite stuff in SL has made alot of ppl lazy about quality cybersex - the old-fashioned kind we knew in IRC. (Remember when IRC was totally next; now it's sooo busted, lol.)

There's a basic confusion about cybersex that Xcite helps to feed. Despite what a lot of people think, cybering is not porn; it's a dialogue between two eager minds. In a nutshell, it's creative writing with more than one author. But Xcite has brought a pervasive air of porn to sex in SL, and many residents are letting that become a substitute for quality cybersex.

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