Feeds

Ukrainian drunk escapes dolphin gang drowning attempt

Murderous Crimean cetaceans mar New Year dip

Security for virtualized datacentres

RZSL Ukrainian emergency workers saved a drunken swimmer in the Black Sea from an attack by a pod of killer dolphins who were trying to drown him.

The man was reportedly "heavily under the influence of alcohol" at the time. He had braved the near-freezing dolphin-infested waters in the belief they would be good for his health. That's his story and he's sticking to it.

The man was some 30m from the shore when observers noticed his distress as he was harried by a feeding group.

asyl Tenishchev, a spokesman at the Ukrainian Emergency Situations Ministry, said: "If our guys had not been there, the victim surely would have been drowned. The dolphins probably were feeding on fish by cornering schools against the pier and the breakwater, and they saw the man as competition."

Happily, the unfortunate vodka fan escaped the ordeal unharmed, unlike the New Zealand woman who was struck by a 300kg leaping cetacean on a pleasure cruise in the days after Christmas. According to Sydney's Daily Telegraph, she remains in intensive care in Auckland.

The latest dolphin outrage is classic Black Sea dolphin behaviour according to Interfax, the Russian news agency. The mammals "lack the reputation of friendliness and love of humans enjoyed by dolphins in wealthy nations".

Ukrainian animal misadventures have earned their inclusion in the RZSL before. Last June, a man entered the lion enclosure at Kiev zoo proclaiming "God will save me, if he exists". He was promptly savaged. ®

Bootnote

Dyakooyu to our Eastern European drunken swimming correspondent Matt for the heads-up.

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Voyager 1 now EIGHTEEN LIGHT HOURS from home
Almost 20 BEEELION kilometres from Sol
HUGE SHARK as big as a WWII SUBMARINE died out, allowing whales to exist
Who'd win a fight: Megalodon or a German battleship?
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
ROGUE SAIL BOAT blocks SPACE STATION PODULE blastoff
Er, we think our ISS launch beats your fishing expedition
Comet Siding Spring revealed as flying molehill
Hiding from this space pimple isn't going to do humanity's reputation any good
BAE points electromagnetic projectile at US Army
Railguns for 'Future fighting vehicle'
OK Google, do I have CANCER?
Company talks up pill that would spot developing tumors
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
New hybrid storage solutions
Tackling data challenges through emerging hybrid storage solutions that enable optimum database performance whilst managing costs and increasingly large data stores.
Website security in corporate America
Find out how you rank among other IT managers testing your website's vulnerabilities.