Feeds

Google space weapon obliterates 50m insect

Rampaging earwig blown from Google Earth

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

Those among you who think that Google is nothing more than a force for international evil masquerading as an internet ad-punting outfit will have to think again. We have just received news that messrs Brin and Page are using their vast wealth not to enslave millions to the Google brand, but rather to protect mankind from rampaging 50m insects.

Regular readers will recall the chilling case of the sleepy hamlet of Arlesberg, menaced by the mother of all earwigs*:

50m earwig captured on Google Earth

Here's the original wide view, indicating the sheer scale of the beast:

The 50m earwig moves on Arlesberg

However, here's the same area now:

Google obliterates giant insect

Quite what kind of terrifying, space-based weapon Google used to blow this monstrous insect back from whence it came is a complete mystery, but suffice it to say we can all sleep sounder in our beds tonight safe in the knowledge that the search engine monolith is ready to strike with massive force against any threat to its customer base. ®

Bootnote

*Yes, yes: we know it's not actually an earwig, and thanks to all those entomologists who wrote in to point out our mistake. Thanks too to Hayden Clark who alerted us as to the giant insect's destruction.

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Inequality increasing? BOLLOCKS! You heard me: 'Screw the 1%'
There's morality and then there's economics ...
Google hits back at 'Dear Rupert' over search dominance claims
Choc Factory sniffs: 'We're not pirate-lovers - also, you publish The Sun'
Spies, avert eyes! Tim Berners-Lee demands a UK digital bill of rights
Lobbies tetchy MPs 'to end indiscriminate online surveillance'
While you queued for an iPhone 6, Apple's Cook sold shares worth $35m
Right before the stock took a 3.8% dive amid bent and broken mobe drama
How the FLAC do I tell MP3s from lossless audio?
Can you hear the difference? Can anyone?
4chan outraged by Emma Watson nudie photo leak SCAM
In the immortal words of Shaggy, it wasn't me us ... amirite?
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.