Feeds

UK government puts kybosh on NHS monkeys plan

Aping a great idea

High performance access to file storage

Someone in Downing Street has a sense of humour - and we have proof.

Regular readers (you know who you are) may recall stories of a beta test site where members of the general public can petition the prime minister about things dear to their hearts. Hunting, ID cards, and road tax are the three big ones.

After a certain period of time a petition will close, and the government may or may not respond.

One intrepid voter (or possibly apathetic non-participant in democracy, who can tell?) thought it would be a good idea to ask Tony to make monkeys freely available "for disabled folk on the NHS to do jobs around the house for them".

Maybe he wanted to test the limits of the system. Perhaps he really believes that helper monkeys are the way forward. Or maybe he was making a deeply political point about the level of care available "in the community". We'd hate to guess.

Anyway - we digress. The point of the story is that while the government has responded to very few of the petitions (at the time of writing only four had responses posted next to them), this is one of the ones to which Blair's office has taken the time to compose a reply.

And it starts:

"While we are aware of similar initiatives already in existence, the Government does not currently have any plans to make monkeys available to people with disabilities."

Notice the way the writer has avoided committing Blair to either supporting or opposing free NHS monkeys, while managing to sound like it is a topic dear to his heart? Beautiful.

The only thing left to do is wonder about the "similar initiatives". ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Android engineer: We DIDN'T copy Apple OR follow Samsung's orders
Veep testifies for Samsung during Apple patent trial
MtGox chief Karpelès refuses to come to US for g-men's grilling
Bitcoin baron says he needs another lawyer for FinCEN chat
Did a date calculation bug just cost hard-up Co-op Bank £110m?
And just when Brit banking org needs £400m to stay afloat
One year on: diplomatic fail as Chinese APT gangs get back to work
Mandiant says past 12 months shows Beijing won't call off its hackers
German space centre endures cyber attack
Chinese code retrieved but NSA hack not ruled out
EFF: Feds plan to put 52 MILLION FACES into recognition database
System would identify faces as part of biometrics collection
Big Content goes after Kim Dotcom
Six studios sling sueballs at dead download destination
Ex-Tony Blair adviser is new top boss at UK spy-hive GCHQ
Robert Hannigan to replace Sir Iain Lobban in the autumn
Alphadex fires back at British Gas with overcharging allegation
Brit colo outfit says it paid for 347KVA, has been charged for 1940KVA
Jack the RIPA: Blighty cops ignore law, retain innocents' comms data
Prime minister: Nothing to see here, go about your business
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
HP ArcSight ESM solution helps Finansbank
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.