Feeds

UK government puts kybosh on NHS monkeys plan

Aping a great idea

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Someone in Downing Street has a sense of humour - and we have proof.

Regular readers (you know who you are) may recall stories of a beta test site where members of the general public can petition the prime minister about things dear to their hearts. Hunting, ID cards, and road tax are the three big ones.

After a certain period of time a petition will close, and the government may or may not respond.

One intrepid voter (or possibly apathetic non-participant in democracy, who can tell?) thought it would be a good idea to ask Tony to make monkeys freely available "for disabled folk on the NHS to do jobs around the house for them".

Maybe he wanted to test the limits of the system. Perhaps he really believes that helper monkeys are the way forward. Or maybe he was making a deeply political point about the level of care available "in the community". We'd hate to guess.

Anyway - we digress. The point of the story is that while the government has responded to very few of the petitions (at the time of writing only four had responses posted next to them), this is one of the ones to which Blair's office has taken the time to compose a reply.

And it starts:

"While we are aware of similar initiatives already in existence, the Government does not currently have any plans to make monkeys available to people with disabilities."

Notice the way the writer has avoided committing Blair to either supporting or opposing free NHS monkeys, while managing to sound like it is a topic dear to his heart? Beautiful.

The only thing left to do is wonder about the "similar initiatives". ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots
We know what the Doctor does, stop going on about it already
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
'Cowardly, venomous trolls' threatened with TWO-YEAR sentences for menacing posts
UK government: 'Taking a stand against a baying cyber-mob'
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
Arab States make play for greater government control of the internet
Nerds told to get lost in last-minute power grab bid at UN meeting
Zippy one-liners, broken promises: Doctor Who on the Orient Express
Series finally hits stride, but Clara's U-turn is baffling
Don't bother telling people if you lose their data, say Euro bods
You read that right – with the proviso that it's encrypted
Apple SILENCES Bose, YANKS headphones from stores
The, er, Beats go on after noise-cancelling spat
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.