Feeds

Man granted permit to dump dead gran at tip

Waste disposal, Cumbria style

Build a business case: developing custom apps

Any reader whose granny has just passed away and who can't really afford a decent send-off should ring Cumbria County Council which recently issued a permit for one chap to dispose of his deceased nan's dismembered body parts at the local tip.

According to the Times and Star, 42-year-old Dave Straughton of Workington called the authority for a "waste permit". His description of said garbage as "general domestic waste" did not satisfy the operative at the other end of the line who said Straughton "needed to be more specific".

Straughton explained: "The man on the phone said they couldn't accept that and I wouldn't get a permit unless I could be precise. They kept pushing me to be more specific. It's crazy - it was just a bit of household rubbish."

Straughton then duly specified he had a guitar and organ to dispose of and, in a fit of pique, "asked if they would accept dismembered body parts in bin bags".

He recounted: "Amazingly, the council officer asked if that was what I was taking, replied okay and put the phone down."

When the permit turned up a few days later, it read: "The following waste can be disposed: Guitar, Organ, Grandma's dismembered body parts in bin bags."

Sadly, the temporary council worker responsible for this tomfoolery got himself sacked for his trouble. A Cumbria County Council statement explained that Straughton "first applied for a van permit to take rubbish to the Clay Flatts household waste recycling centre on November 9".

It continued: "Mr Straughton made it clear that he was not a supporter of the [waste permit] scheme and, when asked for a description of the waste he intended to bring to site, he replied: some old musical instruments and dismembered body parts of his grandma in bin bags. Our call centre operative challenged this description, but Mr Straughton insisted this was the wording he wanted to appear on his permit.

"Regrettably, the permit was issued with this wording included. The following day this was discovered by management, investigated, and the operative's temporary contract was terminated. We then wrote to Mr Straughton to apologise and issued him with a revised permit."

For those of you wondering why Cumbria's residents need a permit to turn up at the local tip with granny's binlinered remains, we should explain that the council reckons "waste being dumped at centres across the county has gone down by over 20 per cent" since the scheme's inception, leading to savings of "several hundred thousand pounds each year".

Recycling has, on the other hand, increased, so if your local council decides that dead relatives should not be disposed of at the local dump, try composting granny at the end of the garden. ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE
Can't face sea of wobbling fondle implements. What happened to lighters, eh?
Video of US journalist 'beheading' pulled from social media
Yanked footage featured British-accented attacker and US journo James Foley
Caught red-handed: UK cops, PCSOs, specials behaving badly… on social media
No Mr Fuzz, don't ask a crime victim to be your pal on Facebook
Ballmer leaves Microsoft board to spend more time with his b-balls
From Clippy to Clippers: Hi, I see you're running an NBA team now ...
Online tat bazaar eBay coughs to YET ANOTHER outage
Web-based flea market struck dumb by size and scale of fail
Amazon takes swipe at PayPal, Square with card reader for mobes
Etailer plans to undercut rivals with low transaction fee offer
Assange™: Hey world, I'M STILL HERE, ignore that Snowden guy
Press conference: ME ME ME ME ME ME ME (cont'd pg 94)
Call of Duty daddy considers launching own movie studio
Activision Blizzard might like quality control of a CoD film
US regulators OK sale of IBM's x86 server biz to Lenovo
Now all that remains is for gov't offices to ban the boxes
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 10 endpoint backup mistakes
Avoid the ten endpoint backup mistakes to ensure that your critical corporate data is protected and end user productivity is improved.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.