Feeds

Apple: the Conservative Party of tech

Big print computing

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Despite its carefully spun marketing conceit that it's the tech brand of choice of the young and groovy, Apple's strongest market is among pensioners according to research. Almost half of Apple's base is 55 and over, said analysts at MetaFacts. That's almost double the proportion of older users who bat for the IBM-compatible team.

But how can Apple avoid future Macworld Conferences looking like the Conservative Party Conference, roadblocked with shuffling retired colonels and anti-dancing campaigners named Edna?

Here's our three-step plan for jettisoning the older users and reclaiming the vanguard of designer tossery:

1. Jobs must ditch the black turtlenecks. They're far too reminiscent of a nice new vicar. A hoodie would be much less appealing to seniors.

2. Put all product demos and stock in Apple stores on the lowest available shelf. And turn off all heating.

3. Abandon the "designed by Apple in California" packaging. Replace with "designed by a Chinaman in China."

Et voila. You can have that for free, Apple strategy boutique.

Summing up, MetaFacts principal analyst Dan Ness said: "Apple can claim long-time loyalists, but its future among the young technoliterati is an interesting dynamic." Indeed. Now excuse us while we wash the taste of sick from our young technoliterary gob. ®

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
Netscape Navigator - the browser that started it all - turns 20
It was 20 years ago today, Marc Andreeesen taught the band to play
Sway: Microsoft's new Office app doesn't have an Undo function
Content aggregation, meet the workplace ... oh
Sign off my IT project or I’ll PHONE your MUM
Honestly, it’s a piece of piss
Return of the Jedi – Apache reclaims web server crown
.london, .hamburg and .公司 - that's .com in Chinese - storm the web server charts
NetWare sales revive in China thanks to that man Snowden
If it ain't Microsoft, it's in fashion behind the Great Firewall
Chrome 38's new HTML tag support makes fatties FIT and SKINNIER
First browser to protect networks' bandwith using official spec
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.